baby mama day
May 17, 2006 at 8:24 a.m.
So guess who had the best first Mother's Day ever?? Moi! My parents were in town, I had a gig and dagnabit - my babby daddy bought me FIREWORKS!!! Screw the flowers, that was AWESOME.
Hey, I'm still in denial about this whole motherhood thing, but a day where I get cookies and presents? Booya. I'm slowly getting on board for this thing:)
We set the fireworks off in the driveway Sunday night. My mom and I are very easily impressed by fire so a good time was had by all. ANd I felt the baby kick!!!! Just as my mom was getting off the plane, I felt it!! Baby knows its grandma already - it was so cute how she kept talking to my tummy all weekend. I really, really miss her. Denvers a loong way from the ATL, but Brazil? She's coming to visit, but not soon enough. I need mommy time.
This weekend was just what I needed, too. I'm a lucky baby mama:)
So Jared is immersed in visas, scanning passports and the like. Every now and then something is annoying and I really wonder "is this really going to go though?? Are we actually doing this??" And it's thoughts like that that keep me from packing. I really ought to pack and help, but instead I curl up in bed and allow myself to feel miserable and pregnant because I do. But maybe if I ate more chocolate I'd be better at getting out of bed and feeling more human. Dagnabit I'm nervous!!
I started telling my students so they could find a new teacher in the summer when other teachers have openings. I did NOT enjoy the experience.
One 7th grader cried for an entire HOUR. Ouch!!!
I'm not the best teacher by any means, but I do try to help them have fun as well as get better. I'm like crack. They call me the "pied piper" at the shop because I have these minions of kids that follow me around. I feel so bad for hurting them, and when I go back and find out that my kids have quit because I moved and their new tecahers have no personality.
Sometimes I think I have no skills, just personality. Its taken me this far so I guess I shouldn't complain, but my students have every right to. Poor kids...
I love them, and I adore the people I know here. But as much as I love them, I love Jared and I'm willing to head to the southern hemisphere or wherever he decides to take me. I like eternity with him. I just hate that I mess with other people's lives in the process.
Oh, speaking of skills, here's a video of my band playing last weekend - the video isn't so hot, but the audio is good. But before you click on it, remember I was the one who pushed the tempo (sorry!!) and those 7 out of tune B's are all me. Just so you know.
I hate waking up with these dreams. I get them every now and then - the same type, where Jared and I are married, but he's dating other people just to be sure. He even tells me in the dreams that he thinks we'd make better friends than a couple.
Bah. I wake up feeling sick and scared and it slowly dawns on me that he's right next to me - he's not going anywhere - we own a house AND we're expecting a baby. I mean, if those don't scream commitment what does??
It was like that when I was in the dating pool though - I'd wake up from dreams where the guy I was seeing didn't like me anymore and had moved on with another beautiful girl and I had to deal with it. I mean, when you're dating "for fun," that's always a possiblity that you have to be prepared for and no matter how prepared you are, it always hurts, doesn't it?
I'm so freaking lucky. I mean, I can't even fathom sometimes how I got so lucky with such a wonderful companion who loves unconditionally and takes my feelings and needs into account before his own -- and dagnabit, why do I still have those nightmares??
I really like not worrying about him in the waking hours. Maybe the nightmares will stop when we've been together for 30 years and we start looking alike, eh?
SUPERCRACK has left the building!