in a family way
March 27, 2008 at 9:15 a.m.
I remember when he song "Ironic" came out, everyone was giggling about how the scenarios in the song weren't irony, but something else. I have since forgotten what it was because my brain has slowly been seeping out of my ears since I finished grad school. One might argue it started about the time I began grad school, but that's neither here nor there.
Anywho, I'm wondering if what I am experiencing is irony, or that other thing...
Tomorrow is my brother's senior recital in Colorado. I want so much to be there, but I couldn't fathom getting on a plane for the 3+ hour flight by myself with my toddler, and keeping her from tearing up my parent's house.
Yesterday was my grandmother's funeral. I seriously contemplated traveling to California to be there, but I couldn't even begin to fathom the 5 hour flight with the toddler again.
So what am I doing this weekend instead? Getting in a van with my in-laws and driving overnight to Texas to visit their family. 12 hours with a toddler in a car.. overnight...
I'm dreading the drive, of course. I don't mind visiting family (there's a real, bonefied JIMBO there!). I just feel like if I'd had a little more guts I'd have gone to Colorado or California to see my family.
Every one of my siblings, aunts and uncles live in Colorado or California.. no one on this side of the world. I'm feeling a little lonely.
There's also the other issue about my grandma not liking me - you know, once she got dimentia, mom promised I could go see her without worry because she wouldn't remember who I was - but one hearing of the mention of my name - she paused, and GROWLED. Yep, I made my grandmother growl.
I'm really not that much of a disappointment in the ol' resume department, but as a youth I was a loud, impudent kid who said whatever crazy thing was on her mind, and spent a good deal of time getting a piece of my grandma's mind as a result.
Blegh... and now 4 days out in the backcountry of East Texas, in a trailer, trying to keep fire ants off my wee one.
Don't have time to post it right now, but I went berZERK on Easter, trying to get a good picture of our family with the Easter basket and Solei's aDOOOORable dress... so of course everything went wrong.
First, I was taking videos of her playing about in the play room, and I have a great shot of my dear one standing on top of the slide in her Easter dress glory, and then the consequent tumble backwards to the floor. She bit her tongue and I had to follow her around for the next hour to keep her from spitting blood on her dress. Of course.
My sweeie was dancing around, laughing, and foaming blood at the mouth.
She is so definately half me.