new day
July 30, 2004 at 12:23 a.m.
Today was simply fantastic. I woke up late to a phone call from Joel, telling me that he knew he'd wake me up, but he didn't care since he figured I should get my butt out of bed anyway, and had nice looong conversations with the awesomest Ben in Michigan about music and life. Dang he's fun:)
The the nice new boy came by to take me to lunch - mmm, La Madeline's, my favorite! It just felt so exotic not even be dressed until after 12pm, and then go have lunch with nice new guy! Not a luxury I'll get again for a while, but I felt oh-so-cool.
Then the Joel awesome boy came over and was again my counselor and buddy even though he was supposed to be working on a paper. I swear, that boy hasn't turned one in time since high school, and he's in grad school now! He laughed at me as I got all decked out in my finest attire and I even didn't yell at him for being in the bathroom while I was primping and such... that's a huge deal, I freak out if boys see my feeble attempts at applying makeup:)
Then I picked up my new friend Brianna and we made our way to downtown Atlanta on the train system - both of us in heels and flashy getups, oh the stares! - and we went to the symphony!!!
But not just any concert - the ASO was with special guests Seven Nations - this unbelievable rock/celtic/punk band. I've never bounced up and down so many times at a concert, I was so freaking pumped - I never wanted it to end! And Brianna was a dear, she thought the fiddle player Dan Stacey was the sexiest man alive, just like I did:) ug... go buy all their stuff, unfreakingbelievable!!!
And we saw so many kilts, it was insane. Lotsa hardcore fans out there.
Dang I'm glad I moved here. GOOD MUSIC! And a night out with a girlfriend getting all dolled up and such? That's the stuff happy days are made of.
We got crazy lost on the way home, but manuvering through the trains was the funnest for us, the stares, the fact that we figured it out, she's just moved from Michigan to teach here, so it's all new and crazy and something to be proud of.
Just a good day:)
So I'm sitting across the table from the nice new guy with my head in my hands. I'd just hung up on an irate surprise phone call from Erik and I'm not in the mood to finish my lunch.
He's mad because he's just read my last entry. Why did I write it? Because I couldn't think of any other way of letting him know how much I'd been hurt. I couldn't call or text or IM him because it's all the same, more running around. That's not what friendships are made of. Friendships are made of people being open and honest with each other, no secrets. And it hurt to know that despite all I'd done, how open I was and still got hurt, time and time again, he was hiding things from me. And why did I delete it? Because he heard me. He finally heard me.
The new boy just looked at me. I tried to justify what I'd done - I didn't want to hurt him, but I didn't want to talk and hurt anymore. My friends shouldn't hurt me.
"I just want him out of my life. He makes me feel bad," I said.
"Then that's the reason why you shouldn't talk to him. Don't try to reason, just be good to yourself" said he.
And slowly, I began to smile. It feels good to be free.
Jessica called tonight to tell me that no matter what, she and all my friends are behind me and want me to be happy.
And I am. When I moved from Texas, Pete wrote a song about how much he would miss me. One line I liked went something like this
"next week they'll ask me 'where's the girl in the red dress? she was here jsut the other day' and I'll say she's gone - she's happy like she was meant to be"
(sorry for butchering your lyrics, babe - you know how much I love your songs)
And in a way, he was wrong... I wasn't able to really be happy in AZ - but now, I've really left and begun my life, and I can be happy. Really happy.
SUPERCRACK is:)