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long distance ache

July 01, 2005 at 8:26 a.m.

Tuesday as I was charging out of the house to an optometrist appointment, I checked my e.mail to find an e.mail from Sabrina, telling me that her younger sister Carrie was killed in a car accident the night before.

Try getting your eyes checked when you've been crying.

Sabrina is my best friend from high school and comes from a family of 12 kids. They're all so well-adjusted and sweet, it's scary. Carrie was 21 and a fraternal twin. He had just come home from his mission to Venesuela and the whole family had come back to Colorado to celebrate.

I'm trying to figure out how to grieve. I feel so badly for Sabrina and her parents - they have been there for me so many times and all I can do is sit in Georgia and cry. I sent them flowers... it seems so simple to do but it made me feel like I was helping.

I know that these things happen for a reason, and that in time, it won't hurt as much. But right now, I ache. My brothers Dallin and Quinn are going to the funeral, but I can't and my parents are in Australia so they can't either. I'm starting to see the value in moving closer to home. I never wanted to be back in Colorado, but it's so far away here from everyone I love. From Denver it was a day's drive to Texas or Arizona or even a looong days drive to see all my family in California. Here it's a long plane flight and money that I should be spending elsewhere.

I know Carrie is alright where she is. I just ache for where the rest of us happen to be.

^&%&^%*&^$&^%$^^%$#^%$#@#$@%$#@%$#@%$#@@^%$#%$#

"when they wake up the will find ... all of their personal belongings have intertwined"

That's a line from the Paul Simon song about a couple whose names I can't spell. It's so true - slowly, Jared's things don't seem as much like Jared's things but Our stuff.

We're getting pretty excited about the house - we may even close sooner, like the 22nd, so we can get in, get the carpets changed and do some major repainting before we have to be out of our apartment in August. Here's the casa:

And guess where we're headed today for remodeling inspiration??

IKEA!!!!!!!!!!!

It opened Wednesday, but since Jared's playing hooky, the lines seemed like they wouldn't be so horrible today.

That's a nice holiday thing to do, eh?

SUPERCRACK says love one another.


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wife. mother. musician. bloggerist for 7 years. holding on for dear life.

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