place to hang our hats
June 27, 2005 at 8:58 a.m.
We got the house.
We got a house.
We are going to be home owners.
I had a brief moment of insanity where I said "okay, put in an offer, dooeeet!" Sometime about the house got me crazy. I liked it. It's unique.. it's cozy and diferent. Something snapped in me and I let him do it.
Something has snapped back. And then it snaps again. I get all hazy eyed about all the things that we'll need to be doing and almost even excited - the house needs some love - paint, decorating and furniture that we don't have - and then I get totaly freaked out, and Jared tells me we can't afford the thing or that thing that I think might be nice - which is true, but precisely the reason that I didn't want a house.
And an Ikea is opening up here this week and it'll make me wish I could make a place as cool and such but I know I just can't.
I have a beautiful apartment and I've not decorated it a whit because I just couldn't think of what to do.
I was worrying about this yesterday, naming off people I could maybe get to help, when Jared stopped me and told me I was using "I" and "me" and not "us" and "we." We're a team. We are going to do this together.
Arg. I'm going to be a freaking housewife. I'm about to have a breakdown here - I did not plan this!!! And yet, I got married to a handy, sweet guy who wanted a house.
You'd think I would have seen this coming...
And then, I go snap the other way and realize that I'm so lucky to have a husband who provides me with love and a new place to live and opportunities to make it our own and the parties will be FABulous...
Except there's one small difference. We're going to do all the work ourselves and I don't know how to do anything, he does. He doesn't understand why I don't wnat to learn how. I dunno, I'd rather work my tush off and make piles of money and then give those piles of money to people who understand how to do things like tile, paint and decorate and let them have at it.
But that's not how Jared wants to do it, and I love him and I'm trying my darndest to support him in this. I'm trying to grow, dagnabit.
Le sigh, I need my mommy, bad. But my parents are in Tahiti, no phones. Then New Zealand and Australia. No parents to make this better. I'm kind of massively homesick. I am just ready to pick out a color scheme and smile or scream every 3 minutes. Maybe I should stay away from Ikea.
So I think we need a new bed. I had a gueen size when I moved here, and it worked out nice when a boy moved in and slept there, too.
But said boy is terribly unhappy if he doesn't get a decent night's sleep. And suddenly, this bed is too small.
First off, I haven't been sleeping very well because I'm so freaked out about the house. Add that to my strange propensity for kicking and punching him in my sleep - and he's really not doing so well. Me neither.
Why do I sleep so badly?? And why is there a boy next to me that gets upset because I stick my pillow in his face?
how the freak did I get here????
SUPERCRACK is having an out of Reva experience...