howdy there
September 12, 2006 at 10:53 a.m.
So today I am officially at "full term." I can give birth and the baby is all big and ready to be a human.
So with this ticking time bomb in my tummy (yes, we're STILL living in a hotel room) what does my husband talk me into last weekend? An 8 hour bus ride. Brazil apparently does not pave their roads - and/or use decent shocks on their transportation vehicles. Holy crap, I'm glad the baby stayed IN!
The trip to and from the other side of the state of Sao Paulo was miserable, but lovely once we got there. We visited some people that Jared had baptised as a missionary 10 years ago and met some other lovely people. Saw more of rural Brazil than I ever expected to and ate some fabulous food. Jared, unfortunately, is enjoying Brazil the way he did the first time here, and he is sick as a dog. Poor guy, his body just doesn't handle illness like healthy people. He stayed home from work most oof yesterday, sleeping and trying to recoup. I'm having my share of health issues - you can't stick a 6 pound human in my abdomen and expect everything else to be working in tip top shape!
But when Jared's sick, the light goes out of my life. I can't help him - he knows what he needs and he takes care of things, and it takes more time for things to be better than I can understand. And with me incapacitated - AK! It's very, very difficult. He'd just been putting on a few pounds too and feeling healthy again after losing something like 15 pounds in the 2 months that we were seperated. He didn't have any pounds to lose at all! Now it's gone again. It's funny, some people need to lose weight to be healthy, my husband needs to gain some to be healthy again. How do you say "I need some lard, please?" in Portuguese???
Speaking of health, we found a doctor! The pluses: it's a SHE (I'm just more comfortable with the women methinks), she speaks a decent amount of English and she lives withing 3 blocks from the home we will HOPEFULLY be living in by the end of this week (that's what I was saying last week, bah!).
The possible minuses: She's good with going for a "natural" birth (as opposed to the INSANE high rate of cesareans) but I don't know how supportive she is of that decision. I told her I was scared of pain, and instantly she tried to convince me to have a c-section - hey, you don't feel anything then!! I'm still not sure why I am leaning towards going natual-ish (a HUGE yes on drugs though!!! I know that's not really "natural" in the States, but heck, that's waayyyy natural here!) Oh - and she doesn't think that an episiotomy is an option - like they feel they are an absolute necessity. Heck, it might be, but I like the way they try to explore other healthier options back home.
But, I'm not home and I just have to get used to that. Nothing will be as nice as I expect and I have to stop crying over it - because in the end I'll have a child. The end result is the same. I just have to focus and be happy with that. I reallllllly hafta try to be good with that. I'm trying to be something other than terrified and even more terrified.
Step one of that is in motion though - I'm pretty sure we picked her name. And it's PERFECT. It makes my heart happy. But I'm not saying until she's born - don't wanna jinx it. It has been SO hard to pick it, and so many people have had so many opinions and told me what I should name her - I want to keep this little bit special and in my heart.
It's perfect though:)
I feel like there's more I wanted to blog... oh, sorry, if you get through my guestbook, you are lucky, it's acting soooo bad right now. I should just use Haloscan, but I just don't know HOW to make it work. I've tried! But no luck.... I'll keep plugging at it though...
SUPERCRACK is getting ready to pop...