sick gal walking
August 31, 2004 at 9:14 a.m.
And entry in the middle of the day? Why, because I can!! Well, I shouldn't anyway, but for a split moment I'm content to just take a slight break.
Ug, I'm sick. I can't even blame it on school - although from most accounts that I hear, apparently I'll spend the whole year sick because my body is getting used to all these kiddie germs. But mostly I'm sick because Jared was sick. It's a decent trade off though, since I'm all crazy about him and stuff.
But now I'm moving in slow moooootttiiiioooonnnnnn.
I'm just wiped, that's all. I'm so glad I have Peter here. Usually, I'm ON all day long, just a firebrand in font of these kids, but today I'm sleepy maggo. well, I'm actually pretty fired up about a few things, and then after we all warm up, I have to hand the baton over to Peter because I keep getting lightheaded.
I'm finding out that I'm not so terrible at this whole orchestra teacher thing. I mean, I'm not fantastic yet or anything, but I am discovering that I am a darn good teacher. I already knew I could get a kid to play the violin and love it, but get an entire orchestra - that's 75 seperate people - to play better at once? It's crazy and I can't believe I'm doing it. Ish.
Just thinking about it is making me woozy again:)
Big news in another front - a very dear friend of mine has discovered that she's pregnant and she and the father - who are not together - are trying to decide how to proceed.
When I first got the news yesterday, I was instantly sick and upset. I felt so bad for her situation, but mostly angry that they'd done something we all knew to be wrong. I was just reeling and I e.mail Jared and vented, I didn't know what to do or react - I was mad, sad, pick an emotion, I was there (well, not the chipper ones anyway) - but honestly, he gave me the best advice I've ever gotten....
"Do something for me- sit down and write down everything that she did to hurt you specifically in this- only include the things that she intentionally did to hurt you specifically. You aren't allowed to be mad or upset at her for anything that is not on that list- you can be disappointed and sad FOR HER, but not mad or upset. After all, she is only human...
Wow. After that, I was able to write her and tell her how much I love her and will support her in whatever she needs. I'm so lucky to have someone in my life that helps me be the person I can be.
I don't sound like myself as much, I think, it's funny... I'm so less defensive, so less crazy to defray atteniton from what's going on inside. It's so nice to feel safe.
Also, nauseous, but as we said, we're not blaming him entirely for getting me a tad ill. It's not like I could keep away from him anyway:)
I like Georgia!! Who the heck ever thought I'd be here, feeling this way and doing all of this?!?!
(by the way, Peter, my co-teacher would prefer it if I do not use the words "freakin'" or "sucks." The thing is, they so beautifully describe some of the things goin' on in my classes. I could use "Inahled vigoriously" - any idears on other describing words I can use that the kids will identify with? Alos, he doesn't want me to say the word "pregnant." Don't ask me why, but it just makes me giggle that that freaks him out:)
Okay, I love y'all, I'm off to pretend I'm well for a few more minutes before I pass out.
SUPERCRACK has sick person breath. How gross it that?!