static-ish
September 22, 2006 at 2:01 p.m.
So today is my last day in the hotel. We're officially out of here tomorrow morning and into our house. I've been in the house twice this week, cleaning and unpacking and being around for the furniture deliveries. The house has a long way to go until it's a home, but it's a start.
I've mostly been doing the kinds of things a 9 month pregnant woman shouldn't be doing, like moving furniture, on my knees scrubbing floors or on chairs scrubbing cabinents. I haven't the energy for it, I'm just desperate the have a decent home for the baby.
We don't have an internet connection at the house yet, and won't for at least another week, most likely 2. Suddenly, I feel very isolated. I've had the blessing to be able to call my friends and my mom everyday with our voIP phone and it hasn't felt like I'm in a different part of the world from them. Although it isn't working properly today - DANG this hotel!!!! But starting tomorrow, I'm in a large house with no connection to any of them except for an internet cafe I can stop by if I'm feeling up to it. A week from today, Jared's mom is coming to stay and help when the baby arrives so I won't be totally alone, but it's still not the same.
I'm suddenly terrified. And really homesick. I got to eat at a random Subway Jared saw yesterday and I got to eat an honest to goodness chocolate cookie. There's so many little things - I can't find any construction paper ANYwhere - they don't sell chocolate chips - and I'm lonely. (yes, I know I can take a chocolate bar and break it up and it will taste the same, but I want chocolate chips, dang it!!) And if one more person tells me that I'm "handling this SO WELL" I'm going to scream. Especially nice-meaning family members in the US with young babies of their own that were able to face childbirth and new parenthood without having to give up all the comforts of decent healthcare, their career and their freedom.
Okay, that may be a little nasty to say, but it's true. I'll make the best of this situation, but it hurts to see people making graceful transitions into this new phase of their lives and I know that it's just twice as difficult for me, plus every day I don't have the opportunity to play my violin and have any music with me, I'm just losing the one part of me that I love most.
AK!!! Pity party stopped, I promise. To make up for all that, here's some random happy/ammusing things I've had going on lately:
Last week as we were driving to the mall to sign some final paperwork on getting some of our appliances, a man came by our car at a stoplight selling roses. Jared got me the loveliest bouquet of red roses - the smell wonderful and were such a sweet surprise! At the store, which was an insanely overpriced Brazilian copy of Ikea, Jared found the one vase that was about the price a glass vase should be, and got it for me so I'd have somewhere to put my roses when we got home. So freaking thoughtful this man is! But as I was taking the plastic off the roses, I knocked the vase over and it shattered all over the bathroom. Such a stupid thing to do, and it just broke my heart that I'd ruined Jared's present to me - I couldn't stop crying - and yes, I probably would have reacted the same way if I wasn't pregnant - but I don't think that helped the situation. Jared was so sweet - he begged me to stop crying and cleaned up all the broken glass while I sat on the bed and tried to calm down. When I could finally speak, I apologized over and over for breaking the vase, but Jared just shrugged his shoulders and said "Honey, you know how much I hate stuff." It's true - he's always trying to throw away things at home. As much as I know that I have the capacity to turn into a pack rat, I know my husband has the capacity to get rid of whatever I'm trying to hoarde. So it was a lovely vase and he bought it to put the flowers into it, but mostly to put a smile on my face. And once I got over the trauma of breaking the vase, I saw he'd taken an empty water bottle and cut the top half of it to work just as well as a vase - it was all just to make me smile anyway. So I smiled. Mission accomplished.
Here's a pregnancy moment for you:
Every time I see a kid act up and act like a holy terror I freak out. Jared doesn't seems to care, which fits his approach to most things in life... but it does make me incredibly curious to see how he's doing to react when his own children act up for attention. And yes, they will. Because they are half me.
And here's the funniest thing bit of conversation I have had in a loooong time:
Jared: I had a friend who was traveling through Egypt with her dad and her sister, and some guy offered her dad a thousand camels for her and her sister. A THOUSAND camels! That's a lot of camels.
Reva: It's still not worth being sold to some Egyptian guy.
Jared: Especially when he doesn't have any more camels.
SUPERCRACK is out of range.... ish...