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lovin' thoughts

January 04, 2002 at 8:00 pm

Oh, my wild and crazy Friday night.... mom and dad are at a dance lesson and I'm trying to not watch television.

You know those hugs? The kind where a guy comes from behind and hugs your waist and kisses you on the head and tells you you're magnificent?

Golly it's been years since anyone ever... you know what??? I can't ever remember a guy doing that. I'd REALLY better stop watching TV. You know, I was voted Most Likely To Be A Nun in high school. Runner-up, actually. I don't think they took into account the fact that I'm Mormon - I just think it was the whole clean living thing. Weirdos. Just see if I show up to the reunions.

Anywho, I'm just thinking... it's not just tv, either. Last night I had a splendid time at the Merc swing dancing with various cute guys and MatMunch, then we topped off the night as usual with shakes at Denny's. And I asked MatMunch what he thought love was, because I don't think I really know.

He said it was worth it. Even though his heart had been seriously trampled by this one girl, it was worth it. That's what he said.

Geez, I can't say that about any guy I dated. I wouldn't mind if they'd never happened. I don't know if I capable of ever caring for anyone that way. I don't trust anyone anymore. I'm not mean, but being bitten so many times can make you a little shy....

I don't have a love written into my schedule. People say it just happens. I don't think I believe it. I believe in faith, in hope, in all those things that I've been taught all my life, but no one ever told me I was suppsed to fall in love someday. So I haven't learned anything about it, it's not penciled in and I'm very afraid of it, whatever it is.

hmmmm.... I'm too young for any of this. How is it that my best friend is my age, married with 2 children? I take longer with these big things. Waaaay longer. I'm still working on the living away from home thing.

SUPERCRACK says I'll just be a rock star. That grown-up stuff is for dupes.

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wife. mother. musician. bloggerist for 7 years. holding on for dear life.

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