thoughts on motherhood
July 12, 2002 at 10:21 p.m.
ug. I don't even know why I try to update this thing. Everytime I write an entry, power outages or my dad or my brother intercede and the entry goes away.
And noooow I don't have anything interesting to say at all!
well, there is one intersting tidbit of life I can share wid y'all.
I went to go see my best friend from high school the other day. She's 2 months older than me but lives in a nice big house and has a husband and 2.5 children. We had very little in common in the beginning, but now we're polar opposites.
We do have one thing in common though - we love each other even though we can't relate, so that's a nice thing:)
But her kids totally run her ragged. She has 2 toddlers and she has to wake up so early and attend to their every need. Like that morning, they'd woken (waked? woked?) her up at 5:30am for some water and she had to go do it and then stay up making breakfast and keeping them occupied and such...
"Dang girl," I said, "you don't have to wake up right when they do. Let them wait 2 hours, it won't kill them. Golly, my mom didn't."
She just started laughing. "Honey, they have you whipped!" I said. She didn't get it.
"I have to do this... they can't do it for themselves."
"Well, yeah, but you're pregnant and there are some things they can wait for. You need sleep."
more laughter.
I just don't get it. Those kids really do have her number - she can't even eat dinner because they are yelling and wanting more things and she gives it to 'em. She is seriously whipped and the kids know it. She gives in when they want treats all the time to hush them up.
Lesson #1 learned by Reva: I am SOOOO glad I'm not a stay-at-home mom at age 22.
now to my next lesson - learning experience.
Later that night mom and I went to go see The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. We'd read the book while we were all over eastern Europe last summer and really enjoyed it, so of course, go see the movie! Be superfans!
Sandra Bullok's character was completely wrong with the character of Sidda in the book, but Ashley Judd and Ellen B.-something were so perfect and right on.
I saw the mother being torn apart by her life and then being pulled and demanded upon by her children while she was a mess, and then her sometimes violent reaction... and I thought -
Why does ANYone become a mother?? I am sooo glad my mom took it on, but what we put parents through? I don't think I could handle being demanded upon and treated like moms do. Most children are inherently very selfish and I would go batty that I was being used and it was expected that I should turn myself inside out. At least that's what I see my mom deal with...
Why the heck would I do it, huh? So -
Lesson #2 that Reva learned: I am light years from having children because oh my heck the thought of it makes me angry.
But get this - as we leave the theatre I was saying to mom "geez! That movie makes me never want to have children!"
And you know what my mother said??
"Fertility is highly overrated. The women who aren't don't appreciate the blessing they have."
A daughter doesn't want to hear that, dagnabit.
I still really don't want children ever. and I don't want to get married. But I used to not like driving and that changed with age. I used to not want have a job, but I love mine now.
So, I suppose this too shall pass with age. But luckily for me, I have plenty of years to play around first. Geez, a baby at 18... no thank you. I would have never gone to New Orleans or Europe... well okay, I went to Europe first at 16, but you get my point. I woujld have never had all these years of memories that I cherish.
I would have never met you kids. The way I look at it is, I'm just making a bigger memory bucket. I've always liked to diversify:)
SUPERCRACK says, here's to slow-bloomers!