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missing stuff

July 20, 2006 at 3:58 p.m.

hmm.... I thought I was having lunch with a friend today, but she never called so I am sitting about, confused at what I should do. Geez, I am such a bum!! I know I can blame a lot of my exhaustion and subsequent laziness on the alien/child/thing in my belly that's sapping all my energy, but that seems too easy.

Not much to do... I guess I'm keeping the house all clean-ish, but it's such a crazy waiting game - and geez, guess what we just found out?? To ship everything to Brazil, we have to freaking CATALOG everything we own. AK!!!!

We've already packed up a whole lot, and there are boxes and boxes of random things, gah, we have to unpack and list everything...let the freakins begin NOW. I think we'll have a moving company do a lot of the work, but I'm not sure how much we'll need to do. Can you imagine trying to find prices on sentimental items and ... actually I have no idea what to expect. Sitting around having an insane case of heartburn probably won't help, but it's all I gots to think about.

We're getting the cutest presents from people from our "Virtual Shower" that our parents are throwing. Tiny pink ballet slippers just make my uterus clench up a bit. I'm still terrified to meet her, but presents are a nice way to help me get more into this motherhood mindset. Everyone has been so generous! Presents also made it easier for me to get married, too:)

Mostly, I'm spending my day being worried about Jared. He's been in Brazil, alone, for almost a month and a half. He's so isolated, he doesn't have any opportunities to do anything but go to work or go to his hotel. He's so tired and bored... he needs some down time - he needs some freedom - and he needs me, too. Hey, I need him too! But he needs a lot more than he's getting right now and it's just breaking my heart.

He had 2 dozen roses delivered to me yesterday because he wanted to make me happy. He's flying Annie in to visit me next week because he's so worried about me. Yes, I'm hyper freaked all the time and I'm pregnant and alone, but he's a tired guy who misses his life and he's about to become a dad. That's got to be just as scary, without all the weird cramping I've been getting today.

I wish I could help:(

So now, for no good reason except to possibly freak me out more, is a list of what I miss about having a husband on the same continent as me:

* Snuggle time. Helping me go to sleep at night, after dinner, whenever.

* Being productive. Having him here helps me get going in the morning, plan my day, get ANYthing done!

* Dates. Jared comes up will the sweetest outings, and our meeting-anniversary (we met each other 2 years ago on Monday!) is coming up. I wish I could celebrate it with him:(

* Kisses. I love being kissed in passing different times through the day. I miss the kisses that say "I'm busy but I'm thinking of you" and the ones that say "Guess what I'm thinking about..." which brings us to

* Of COURSE that. I may be pregnant, but I'm not dead. And hmmhmm, it really does get even more fun when you are pregnant... didn't think it could, but it did:)

* Jared's arm around me at church. It seems sometimes we connect more on that level than any other place. No matter what kind of argument we got in that morning, no matter what stress we have going on - it's like a rebirth every Sunday when we attend church together. I feel so loved when I'm there. We're just so lucky to have that connection and I miss it so much.

* Errands. It's so wonderful to do things together, even running to Home Depot. Yup, I'll even take Home Depot right now.

Hmmm, that's it for now. I should get on getting some pics of my huge belly soon. At least I made an entry!

SUPERCRACK is alloooonnneee

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wife. mother. musician. bloggerist for 7 years. holding on for dear life.

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