it sets in
February 28, 2003 at 11:46 a.m.
trying to stay positive.
i asked some professors about their bouts with tendonitis and all told me they had dropped out of school and/or stopped playing for no less than 3 months, usually more.
the pain is constant and i know nothing will heal it but time, but i'm so scared and it's starting to hit me that i might have to alter my life plan dramatically. what if i lose my scholarship?? i can't stay here. i can't do electric violin clinics, i can't play in australlia or chile.
i knew this was going to happen. i knew something was wrong. last week i went to the doctor to see if i could get referred to a physical therapist because i knew the pain wasn't going away and my muscles could only take so much.
now i can't play violin. can't even do my own hair. my experience with mascara this morning was just scary.
pray hard for me. pray that i can start playing violin again soon. that my arm will stop throbbing. i won't complain anymore, i promise.
just please, pray that i don't lose the biggest piece of who i am. and i mean that.
i cried all through walmart yesterday, trying to find a brace. it's terribly unfashionable, but i'll have that fixed soon enough.
i came home minutes before Smiles was going to pick me up for our date, and couldn't clean myself before he got there.
so my angel of a roomate Brenna curled my hair for me:) and gave me plenty of hugs. then smiles came in and began instantly trying to cheer me up. worked, too.
dinner was spectacular - he had worked on it for hours, and it was such a treat. i was so touched...
then he invited me to come see him play basketball with the guys from our church and i joined two other girls who are dating his roomates as the lone spectators - had a ball though. they were soooo sweet! and it was fun to watch the game- - people who have good attitudes are always fun to watch.
but you know..... when i got there, several people asked me about my wrist and how i had liked dinner... hmm... apparently i had been the topic of conversation?
SCORE!!!!
then he dropped me off at my place and he ended up staying to watch seinfeld (of course). and we did the knees-accidentally-touching-while watching-tv thing. i love that thing. and once or twice he playfully scratched the back of my head...
urg i am so massively twitterpated. nice boy touched my knee with his knee and has a big smile and i really think he likes me.......!!!!!
but then the really fun part happened. he left and i took a shower and before i went to bed i went to the living room and saw Brenna freaking out - apparently Lacey (another roomie) was just getting home from a blind date and brenna had just caught a glimpse of him and the guy was at least over 36 - and lacey is 20!!!
so brenna opened the front door and turned on all the lights so lacey could escape and get in the house. another roomie, Gretchen, joined our giggling brigade as lacey came in and exclaimed - "i just went on a date with a guy who could have been my dad!!!!"
it was hilarious - we all freaked out and piled into bren and gret's room to be girly and freak about the old guy who had told her he was a millionaire and then offered her a job...! ewwww!
we were up until 2am and it was just funfun. i love my roomates insanely. i do i do.
things are looking good even though everything is a mess.
don't forget to pray for my arm. and me. i don't know what i'll do if this doesn't heal soon...
SUPERCRACK has owies