ooof- Arimazona kicks me in the stomach
December 04, 2003 at 12:39 p.m.
waiting for the ASU school of music office to open......
I am a troll sometimes. When it comes to things that scare me, I conquer dang it. But I burrow up and hide for a little while.
Well, this time, Reva made a stew of things. I borrowed for too long and no one has come to help me because no one knew what I was burrowing with.
Don't worry, it's not a gigantor thing, but it's enough to make me feel queasy. One of those errands that you put off until the last second. Or a few months after the last second.
Le sigh. I don't like being a grown-up all by myself. I wish I had some other grown-ups to help.
And I'd also like to deface some part of Arimazona to show it how displeased I am with its treatment of me. Golly, this place can sure be mean.
I'm going to see the Christmas lights at the Mesa Temple tonight! A boy who saw me play at that talent show thing-y a while back thought I was cool and contacted me and wants to hang out with moi. Hey, I'm down, yo.
I'm a little confuzzled sometimes at why men are attracted to me. I do a pretty good job of distancing them for some reason, and for the most part, I'm able to push them away enough so they don't pursue it further.
Wonder why that is.... it's like a defense mechanism where I just can't be comfortable with some people unless given the opportunity to grow comfortable with them. I've just been trashed so many times that it's all instinct - I never think about it until after I'm doing it and wonder "why was that?" And the ones that really matter are kind enough to pursue me and/or give me the chance to know them. It's nothing I've ever discussed with anyone, it's just something I've observed.
Okay, I'm not going to analyze this - I gess I'm just wondering why I let some guys take me out and then some I just let instinct take over and push them away before they can ask me out.
I don't think there is anything awry with this system, because I believe you need to go with your gut sometimes. And I let my gut do most of the deciding. It works pretty well, I've deflected enough creeps in my time with this gut-o-mine. Although once my heart gets involved, everybody had better duck for cover!!!!
I was much upset by a mean lady this morning yelling at me over the phone. Then I went to have lunch with Zane because he doth be my lunch appointment on Tuesdays and Thursdays and he is always so kind that it made me relax and smile again.
He even paid so that I would have another thing to pick up my spirits. And seeing the smile on his face when he was able to offer to do that did make me feel good.
I'm lucky to have him for my buddy.
I was so happy yesterday and even this morning - although sick - and then the mean lady brought me crashing down. But Zane has a way of reminding me that life can be nice.
So SUPERCRACK will live to goof up another day. No biggie. Maybe.