big brewings....
October 02, 2002 at 10:46 a.m.
Big story in the Revaland today. Not big NEWS, because nothing is official.
By the way, don't mention any of this to my mom 'cuz I have to break the news to her this weekend if it's going to actually happen...
There's a good chance that Loren, ex-boyfriend previously known as Mr. Crabtree, will be moving to the Phoenix area after this semester for a few months before he leaves on his mission.
*pause while Reva gasps for air*
Move here. To where I am. My best friend, the guy I'm on the phone with almost every night for at least 2 hours... once 5 ... eeeep!
How do I feel about this? He has legitimate reasons for coming - needs to get out of Texas, a job opportunity is opening up, and um... he like the usury laws in Arizona (heck if I know what that's all about - he's into investment banking). Also, I'm here.
Yes, I am.
And he's in love with me.
And he's leaving for a mission.
I'm getting my masters.
Then leaving for a mission.
No, this isn't complicated at ALL.
How do I feel? Oh my heck it it kind of scary. And exciting. And somewhere in the middle of it all, peaceful. I went to my violin lesson yesterday and my teacher asked me why seemed nervous... my last teacher never wanted to hear about my personal life and my new amazing better than ever teacher wants to know more so we can have a deeper relationship...
did I mention I have a student crush on her? Seriously, I LOVE this woman and she's so nice it makes me giggle and want to play violin well. Dreamy lady...
Anywho, I explained the situation and that I knew if I said "Don't you dare come because it would mess up my life," he wouldn't... and I was trying to see what I thought about things. She gave me an answer I didn't expect...
Regret is a horrible thing to live with. You care enough about him to be this worried about messing up your friendship - and that is the best way to approach any relationship.
Or something like that... I expected "Focus on your masters - no boys for you" but it wasn't like that at all. She believes life doesn't stop because you are getting a degree - and something this good should not be taken for granted and squandered.
I can't really say how I feel... the l*word scares me and I think maybe he understands how I feel for him so when I say anything... he knows what I really mean. The possibility of this now is flabbergasting to me...
I would get to dance with him again. That was the best part about our relationship - he is an amazing dancer and he made me feel like I was on cloud nine when we were flipping around swing dancing. It's because of his skills as a swing dancer that I didn't break up with him 3 days into the relationship, but that's another story:)
There's so much to say and try to figure out... does anyone think I'm crazy? For once I don't care. I feel calm and collected about this and I'm starting to realize I'm not 19 and things won't ever turn out like they did... le sigh...
yeah, I know. It's a lot to take in. All I know is, I'm cancelling my raquetball date tonight with some guy I met Sunday. I don't like the guy first off, and second... I just don't enjoy dating, so pooh.
mom's goona flip out, seriously.
Loren did the most awesome thing for me yesterday...
Remember Tree? He didn't know I'd dated Loren and this point came out in a group discussion at church yesterday. Everyone was surprised at Loren for the great way we've been able to stay friends and were commenting on it...
(this was something Tree always told me - how much he loved that we were such good friends... yeah, then he'd come over and snuggle with me and mess with my head and heart... that's why I don't contact him at all. that's NOT a friend, buddy)
So people asked Loren how often we talked and kept in contact and such and he said truthfullly, just about everyday... Tree mentioned "I wrote her an e.mail a couple of weeks ago... hasn't written me back yet."
"I know," saith the L-man, looking him square in the eyes. "She told me all about it."
*silence*
heehee Tree felt like a goober and there were other nifty things said in the course of the evening, but Tree got the clue that he had indeed messed up big time and could never be my friend after what he'd pulled.
It doen't seen huge, I know, but no one really ever stood up for me before. And Tree treats a lot of girls this badly and doesn't think twice about it - just tells himself he's being friendly and as long as he's getting what he needs and wants, the girl must be okay too. That's friendly.
Boo-ya to Loren. Oink to Tree, who got a clue last night into the fact that you can't treat a girl like that and pretend like things will be okay.
Am I living a soap opera or what??
Dang life is good here in Arimazona.
SUPERCRACK says WHEW!!!!!! what a ride!