a holiday weekend gala
September 02, 2002 at 11:01 p.m.
golly, there's so much to say today, so I'll just dive in...
First, I despise symphony here at ASU. The conductor is a petty blowhard who has announced that to get an "A" in symphony, you have to take a test and write a paper on "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" and two other motivational books.
I just came from an orchestra where I was treated like the professional musician I am. I was not treated like a high school freshman. I miss my old conductor, Brusillow more than I can say.
I alost want to give my scholarsip away... it's not fair to have to sit in this horrible place for 2 years just because of my scholarship. Oinkoink.
Candis and I talked a few days ago and I cried to her about my frustrations. She was in the UNT orchestra with me and knows better than most how hard it is to leave Brusillow behind - she has a very close relationship with him, and I begged her to tell him how much I missed him and how special he is to me...
so for my Labor Day present, she forwarded this message to me from my dear former conductor...
*
Please convey my love to Reva. Of course I remember her very well. I am sorry that she is so unhappy, but I can understand how she feels. I do miss her also, and do tell her so. She was always one of my favorites. Anshel
*
This means so much to me... and validates my decision to go into my own path of music and not into a symphony gig. I hate being a drone, and no one will ever be as good as Brusillow.
end o' story.
So I had a date on Saturday. I got to see all of Phoenix - pretty little town, meet some colorful homeless peple and go paddle-boating on the Tempe Town Lake. It was pretty comfortable and not a scary OMYHECK-I'M-ON-A-DATE thing.
I laughed the whole time... it just seemed hilarious, me on a date. It was amost surreal. It's been a little while... but not as long as it usually is. Having fun with a guy on a one-on-one thing kind of almost scares me. THere's a few reasons why, but I can't put them into words.
I'm sure the weirdest part of the date - for him - was when we were at Sonic getting cold drinks, and after being so warm in the Arizona heat, and then sooo cold from the iced drink, I started shivering and I couldn't stop laughing like a banshee. I had to hang out the window to heat up again.
Now, if you know and understand me, this just looks like typical Reva-is-such-a-freak behavior. But I'm sure to a newcomer, it must really creep someone out:)
But the original question remains... why do people even ask me out? What the heck are they seeing? If you know me and know what a crackhead I am and still want to spend time with me, that's one thing... but what does someone see in first appearances?
I'll guess I'll have to wait until they do that Behind the Music on me for VH1 so I can see all the juicy interviews from my friends:)
Mom came in Friday night and Dad came in Saturday morning on their way to LA, to drop the Love Mobile off. No more rental car.
Just having them here for a few hours meant so much... they never saw my last dorm/apt. rooms of the last two years, but they got to see my little house and my cozy little room.
Mommy slept in my bed. I miss my family. mmm.
I went tubing today on the Salt River!!! It was sooo much fun! I went with 3 guys and I was the token girl... I got beated up, seriously. But I can't even describe how fun it was.
I hope I was fun to be with... they seemed to like me, so that's cool. Soon, I will OWN THIS TOWN. heh heh:)
Oh, this morning I slit my fourth finger on my right hand open on a stupid fan my parents had installed in the Love Mobile insead of AC. I keep cutting my fingers!!! I am starting to get really paranoid!!
I've had terrible relationships and I'm getting better everytime. Like I said when I broke up with Loren, I really think my undergrad should be in break-ups, not music, because that's what I got really good at.
And back in the day, all I ever wanted to hear was "I'm sorry it didn't work out." or "I'm glad we dated - I won't forget you." but most mportantly, 'You meant so much to me, and I'll miss you."
Because I think those things. . .
Over the years, I learned romance is dead and not to sweat how boys toss you off and stop caring suddenly. I really got better at that over the years - boys are just different, and the ones I dated never cared... it gets easier with time.
But last night, I heard everything my heart had been dying to hear since the first boy broke my heart so long ago - I was loved and missed, and I was not to be forgotten. I'll never forget Loren, and that I can still be so close to him means more to me than ice cream (that's a big deal by the way!!:)
HE SAW ME. He loved me for the person I am and when it had to end, he stayed there for the shoulder I needed.
Someone saw me. It's an amazing concept. I'm so glad we're still as thick as thieves and I can tell him anything. WOw, this is just as incredible as dating him - whodathunk I could stay friends with someone??:D
............
I think this is all for now. Big smooches to all!
SUPERCRACK is getting into the swing of things...