more of ASU...
August 28, 2002 at 9:12 a.m.
gripe numbr one about Arizona:
Not ONCE has anyone given me a courtesy wave. Nada!
I've been giving 'em out like cotton candy at the circus, but I don't get 'em back. Maybe this is my sworn duty - to single-handedly bring courtesy waves to the cities of Mesa and Tempe Arizona.
Screw the masters, I've got bigger fish to fry.
Speaking of frying, man does my placement in the orchestra bite. I'm not even going to put it on diaryland because then it will be out there and... I don't WANT to admit to it. I will be in denial about it all year.
And when I look at the big picture, I realize I have my priorities on the right place. I won't be getting job in a symphony because over half of the US symphonies are in serious debt and 5 major orchestras are going out of business a year, not to mention all the mom-and-pop orechestras.
I also hate playing in orchestras - I am NOT a stooge that sits there and plays what all the other people are playing and is as quiet as possible.
Don't get me wrong - I'm one of the best second violinists you'll meet because I can play under and with someone - a trait most violinists haven't figured out.
But I don't enjoy it. Let's face it - this music is boring. 2 more years of this and then I'm on the Reva things.
I called my parents in tears last night, afraind that they would be mad that I placed so badly. But they wondered why I cared - I'm a professional, published violinist. I'm a clinician for the biggest electric violin company in the world, I'm on education commitees with the biggest names in alternative string styles, and I can wear vinyl when I play.
Who gives a whooping funt about where I sit to play yet another Tchaikovsky Symphony??
Well, that rant makes everything better:)
Still having trouble making friends on campus. Everyone is so cookie cutter here - tanned, blonde, wearing the same denim skirt.
I wore my blue Indian-hippie shirt today just so I could feel better about myself. For two days I've dressed like what I thought a masters student should wear, and it almost killed me.
I don't do normal. Thank heavens I talked to Loren last night because he set me straight on that point. This is a big culture shock, and in the process of acclamating, one can forget their own culture.
You can take the weirdo out of.. weirdo land but you can't take the weirdo land out of the weirdo?? umm... forget that.
Loren offered to let me call wehnever, so I have been. Not fair to him, because I keep him up waaaay past his bed time. It just feels so good to have a decent... fabulous conversation with someone who enjoys conversation too. I miss him. All my reasons for leaving were right on, but it doesn't stop me from missing him.
Go fig.
And I miss Urmi so much sometimes it makes me sick. There's a reason... that's he battle cry. And she's right... but why when I meet my soulmate am I thrown out of her zip code so quickly?
The only thing that helps is that she's there for me as only the Urmi can be.
Texas, you had your faults, but thanks for having some gems along the way. I must come back soon... I need some nourishment.
Yesterday while I was having a pity party to Loren about my lonliness, he offered to be on a plane today. But then he said he guess that was a band-aid for a gaping hole sort of solution.
Aside from the gross visual we all have now of a nasty wound, he was right.
Gotta git out there, gotta git doing if.
SUPERCRACK still wouldn't mind some company though...