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a little better

September 21, 2004 at 5:42 p.m.

Okay, I know I made an entry like, 3 hours ago, but I have a moment and wanted to make one... a happier one. See, my job is still a bear and a total mess, but something went right today and I wanted to share.

So Jared had a half day at work today so he could go pay a speeding ticket (it's a miracle he hasn't gotten a grazzillion by now) and afterwards, we were going to spend some time together. But I didn't know when, so I was working my tushie off, trying to get things put together at work and such, oblivious to the time and figured that he'd call me when he was done.

I texted (is that a word now??) him when I was hitting my breaking point and told him I was coming home - to which he told me he was at my place and had been for 2 hours!!

I felt so bad, I drove home in tears. here, I couldn't do anything right at school and then on his afternoon off, I just go and mess it up. Then I get home and he's cleaning my kitchen and dinner is almost ready and he's just happy and chipper and all I can do is go into my room and cry.

It took some working, but he cheered me up.

I'm here for a reason.

One huge reason is him *ahem*

But there's something my Heavenly Father wants me to glean from this job, from this experience. So I'm going to learn it.

And then, I gotta get back to playing my violin. That's where I belong.

I love how when I ask him to just talk, he does. When I need someone elses words in my head other than my own. I love how he knows what my favorite kind of rice is and he knows that my love language is verbal so he goes out of his way to show that he loves me that way. I love that he knows right when to kiss me to make me feel better, not too soon and not too late. Just at the moment that light starts to shine over the horizon. I love that he makes me laugh.

I love that right now, the world isn't so terrible. I love that he's here.

And along with all that other stuff... my job... we'll see if I can do this. I still don't know. But I will not be made to feel guilty because I have a life outside of my work. (tomorrow is my first yoga class!!)

SO, happier note that previous entry, which you can go back and read if you want. But I can tell you how the story goes right now.... I might just be okay. But please pray for me. This job is really not easy, or me. (which is what it comes down to in the end.... I just gotta be me.)

I'll manage. Methinks it's time for me to hot the showers though and take a minute for moi.

SUPERCRACK is still dreamin...

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wife. mother. musician. bloggerist for 7 years. holding on for dear life.

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