good violining!
September 19, 2002 at 7:41 a.m.
So I'm standing there in my violin lesson, I've just played the Wienawksi 2nd movement and I'm waiting for feedback.
What am I thinking? "urg... that rhythm was so off... did she notice my arm was wrong? The bowing there is SO off - what the heck was I doing with it earlier??"
What does she say... first, some constructive criticism, then the praise. Alright...
When she asked me if I was the kind of person who followed through with things - why was this rhythm still off the next week? The little things could hold me back...
What is happening in my head? "that's okay, it's all good - do I follow things through? Well... I'm not sure. I have I suppose... what specific examples do I have of that.. OH CRACP it's not that bad am I about to cry??? NONONONONO what the heck man I can't turn back - my face is red - WHY DO I DO THIS - I'm not sad - it's just been a long day - AK!! She's asking me if I'm crying... I want to crawl under the piano!!!!"
Her - "why would you be crying??? Are you okay?"
me "it's just been a long day - I'm so sorry - I just do this to release pressure - please go on."
Her - "well, um.. is it okay if I continue? Okay... oh Reva... well, I just want to know what you want out of this masters degree because I'll help you get there. If you want to do fiddle, jazz improv, I can take a step back and help you just on your technical things... it's just...
(now here's the part that made me almost fall over)
"I don't now who ever told you that you didn't have a chance or a future as being a classical soloist - not like stuck in the back of the violin section in an orchestra - I mean ... listening to that made me so excited at the huge amount of potential - there's SO much potential - why haven't you ever thought of the possibility of being a professional solo performer- you could really do it."
******huh??*******
I don't know - no one ever had that much faith in me. No one sees me like she does - no one can help me utilize my body and grow musically like she does.
Did a little door open up today? We'll see what happens in a week when she hears me play the first movement - it's one of the most difficult pieces in violin music, and I've never been given anything that advanced.
Dallin played it... perfectly. When he get back next summer we can play it together. oooo!
I'd just like to say I have the best violin teacher ever. I came all the way to Arimazona to study with her and I'm so happy with my decision. She's always there, always wants to talk - always smiles and is so freaking good that I learn by just watching her.
I heart Dr. McLin!
heehee...
I'm glad I'm so diverse and I have so much going on.. I'm doing electric violin clinics this next year in Chicago, Toronto, Portland, and all over Australlia so far... maybe some in New Zealand, we'll see.
But no one ever said I had potential. No one ever said they could see potential to be a really good violinist...
oh golly, this entry is dull - I'm on my way to go practice and hug people.
SUPERCRACK says thanks to all of you for the loving... life is good:)