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back to life?

January 07, 2003 at 6:30 p.m.

the earlier entry from last night is here.

He didn't like Signs as much... and we never got around to watching Drop Dead Gorgeous, but that's just fine, because the perfect thing to do after you say goodbye to your sweetheart for yet another bunch of months, is to watch a really funny movie.

I just got back from the airport. Ug.

I didn't cry as much as you would think.. Not really much at all. Geez, last time I cried all freaking day. Either I'm getting stronger, or Loren is getting even better at distracting me. A little of both, I think:)

What a week... it's been a dream, really. Now I have to get ready to leave for Toronto tomorrow... get really for my next semester and more life. Real life.

That, besides all the wonderful "us" time, was one of the biggest parts of Loren's trip to my family's shanty in CO. Getting back together has been absolutely marvelous, but I've had difficulty balancing my new Arizona life (i.e. WHAT life??) and having my heart back in Texas with Loren and all my friends there..

He's been worried... well, so have a bunch fo people... that I'm not really getting into life in Arizona. It's true, honestly. And it's been scaring me. I have some really neat friends but I just miss Loren and Urmi and Urmi and Danielle and Hiro and Pete and all the people I'm on the phone with constantly...

It's oh-so-easy to disappear there... but I'm going to stop. For him and for me. And um... if someone comes around, I am supposed to do friendly dating.

NO, I still have a marvelous boyfriend, but he's leaving on his 2 year mission at the end of this semester and he wants me to get out there... LIVE.

When I broke up with him back in June, I decided that if you really love somehting, you can let it go and if it comes back to you, it's true. I didn't ever expect this... I didn't expect him to become one of my best friends and I certainly didn't expect to fall in love like this and be loved so fully in return.

So, if we can handle the break-up, if we can handle the distance, if we can handle seeing each other so sporadically and things just get better... okay, I can handle some more for the next while. I can be smart.

AAAAAAnd - can I just say, WOW was my New Years Eve the best one I ever had!!!!

It'll shock you - yep, we did a Mormon dance! That's all I wanted to do though - Loren is one of the most incredible dancers I know and it's maybe the funnest thing I can think of to do... wheeeeeee!

But I gotta say - this part wasn't so great - but it WAS because Loren and I got to laugh our butts off - karaoke at the Mormon dance.

WORST IDEA EVER!!!!!!! Although I gotta say... the gaggle of guys who sang "Man, I Feel Like Woman" by Shania Twain was possibly the most hilarious things I've experienced. heehee....

Getting to dance all night long and then get kissed at midnight by my sweetheart.... golly.

Amd also, when he got here, to make up for my lonely Christmas, Loren unpacked a Christmas tree and placed presents all around it...

So sweet. It made me almost misty - and then when I unwrapped my gifts, I really did. Some were funny, very personal - and then one really brought tears to my eyes...

Ever since I started this diary - I've been meaning to print out these pages, to supplement the already insane amount of peronal journaling that I do. but I've never gotten around to it...

Loren copied every entry to word files and saved them to CD-ROM and also printed out the 512 pages that are princessreva.diaryland.com ....

That's thoughtful. That's sweet. I have the most wonderful boyfriend of all time. That's the truth.

Okay, maybe I'm ready for this semester. I feel nice and loved.

So I'm off to Toronto tomorrow for a jazz conference. That'll give me somthing to do to get my mind off missing Loren.

OOOOOoooo, and also when he leaves on his mission, I'll have my mind occupied because I am going to Australlia and Chile all summer! Woohoo!!!

Australlia for work and fun, and then Chile because I'm going to see Dallin!!!!!!

Okay, I needed that. Now I have to go pack and possibly get weepy ...

hey, I said I was getting BETTER about this saying goodbye to Loren, not BEST. sheez:)

SUPERCRACK is sleeping in Canadia tomorrow!!

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