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the home again skinny...

December 20, 2002 at 8:53 a.m.

okay, so an update is needed...

ever time I try to, I get pulled in another direction. So let's see if this lasts....

I'm in Colorado! I just got home from the big conference in Chicago and I'm trying to relax.

Unfortunately, to my body, the idea of relaxing means "I finally have the free time to get sick! woohoo!"

So I'm miserable with a sore throat and achey bones and I think my sinuses might be hankerin' on getting in on the action. Yee-haw.

But it's okay because I'm not alone. This morning I got a phone call from the nice dad of the family that picked me up and drove me to Phoenix last August, but talking to him was rather difficult because my mom crawled into bed with me and my dad came in announcing changes to airline tickets or something and... gak.

The conference went fine. I met some really nice people who all think I'm the cat's meow and I did well on my presentation of electric violins and how groovy they are and some people are even interested in getting me out to their schools to do performances, including one in Hong Kong! Wacky life, I do lead. It's true.

But now I'm trying to do some down-time. Golly I feel bad. And I haven't even started thinking of Christmas presents. You need money to do that... I will be making cookies as soon as I feel better... can I ship eveyone cookies? I promise they are extra good!

I'm enjoying my wonderful sister-in-law-to-be (Quinn hasn't proposed yet but I saw the ring already and YOWZA!!) and my parents and.... come Monday, I'll be the happiest girl ever.

That darn Ukranian will be GONE and she will never darken our door again.....GRRRRRRRR!!

Like I said before, I am one of the nicest and most giving people you'll ever meet UNTIL you cross my mother. If you treat her badly, I will stop being your friend, lickety split. Same thing with my friends too... I just don't allow that negativity around. You keep it to your freaking self.

The forementioned Ukraninan is this girl we're related to that we welcomed into our home almost a year ago who has done nothing but complain, speak nasty about my family behind our backs, lie, manipulate one poor GI, and taketaketake.

She got engaged to this one guy because we're kicking her out. We've been nothing but kind and spent thousands of bucks of Dallin's college money to help her get a good future going and she has done nothing but complain and use us.

grr grrr grrrrrrr.

Okay, I've got it out, I'm done... *pant pant pant*

#@^%#%#^#^@%@^#^%#^%$@#^%$^#@^#*^#%$#@

I got a good look at myself in the mirror the other day.. that's only happened twice in my life before.

I mean, do you ever look in the mirror and not see all the familiar things you're used to, but really see what you really look like in other people's eyes?

I percieve myself as a BIG person... I mean, I'm almost 5'10" and I have long arms and legs and... well, I take up a lot of space!

But I'm not fat... I feel it, but we all do. Welcome to 2002 and the pressure of looking like Aly McBeal...

But I got a good look the other day.. and I was scared. I could count a lot of my ribs, other bones are sticking out and... I just don't look good. I'm thin, but I'm unhealthy. I'm not too thin, but I'm really weak.

I have to do something about that. Dagnabit, I can't go work out - the ASU gym is full of sorority girls with cutecute shorts and perky hair. Darn them.

It just scared me.. now I'm sick and I just found my watch from last year... I lost it in July. I put it on, and now I have to go get it fitted again because it's so big it looks like a dangle bracelet.

I have a dangerous history when it comes to the weight... why do we live such a yo-yo life? And how the heck was it so easy to gain weight in high school and now I'm just clueless?

I feel weird. My mom is going to go put salt water up my nose so maybe I'll get better. We'll see....

SUPERCRACK says happy home time! woohoo!!

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wife. mother. musician. bloggerist for 7 years. holding on for dear life.

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