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hoping and praying

July 24, 2006 at 11:32 p.m.

I swear I'm trying to write an entry. I've been trying for 2 days, but I haven't been able to put into words what is going on in my head. Or my day, for that matter.

I'm going to try, but before I do, I'm going to need some help from all o' y'all. See, I have nothing to say because I am in one of the weirdest times of my life. I am expecting my first child... hoping against hope to get to Brazil within the next months becuase if I don't, I'll have to give birth here in the states - and be stuck here wrapped up in red tape for another 5 months, waiting for the documentation and visa work for the baby too... seperated from my husband.

I've recently discovered that life without him just isn't living. Its been a month and a half already, I'm positively miserable here people. I'm useless and a blob. Literally. I'm all squishy, what with being all pregnant and all. Look at the bottom of the page - the baby on my ticker is getting so big - ak!!!!

So anywho, back to what I need help with. I need to write an interesting entry if it kills me. But, what with the limbo and no interesting husband to give me funny things to comment on, I'm lost. So if y'all could all write in my guestbook questions that you have about me... then I could answer them and be interesting.

So please, question away!! I'm not the most open of bloggers, so there's got to be junk you want to know, pleaaaase help me feel slightly interesting again!

%$^&%$^%$#%$#%$@$%%!#$#@%#%^$#%$#^%#$%

So back to the stuff I'm trying to express... I miss Jared so much it's nauseating. Today is the 2 year anniversary of the day we met. The first year was nuts - we met, 5 months later we're married and then we're homeowners... it was such a shock to see how much could change in a year.

But this year has gone by so much faster. And it's even more insane than the first... we're going to be parents.. in BRAZIL.

2 years ago I went to a party... I'd moved here early in the morning with my parents - we drove from Colorado and I'd been invited to meet some people at church at a get together for Pioneer Day - the holiday that celebrates the entrance of the LDS pioneers into the Salt Lake Valley.

I walked into the house and the first person I saw was Jared. He was an immediate friend - he took me under his wing and showed me around to everyone and make me feel comfortable and safe.

He's been doing that every day since. I can't believe how blessed I am to have him in my life. Especially since he's been in Brazil...

My favorite time of day is just before bed when he holds me as we're falling asleep. He really prefers to fall asleep immediately, but he'll stay up and talk with me for a while because he knows it calms me and helps me get sleepy.

I am under the distinct impression that if I have to go much longer without his arms around me - the occasional kiss or hug - I will go positively insane.

I need to stop before I really do go insane. Tomorrow Annie comes into town, and I have quite a few worries to occupy my thoughts... they're just so much easier to handle when I have my sweetheart with me.

Let's all pray it's soon, okay? For my sanity.. and blog content, at least?;) And ask me those questions please!

SUPERCRACK us hopin' and prayin'!

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wife. mother. musician. bloggerist for 7 years. holding on for dear life.

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