zipoing! am I wrong or just immature?
March 31, 2003 at 1:17 p.m.
What????????
Reva is updating 2 days in a row??? INSANITY!!!
It's because I have taken my medical release and I don't have to go to orchestra any more. Let's hear it for Reva and FREE TIME!
Of course, if you think abut it, next year is going to be so mad packed because I have to work so extra hard on violin to get ready fro my recital it's not even funny. Aggah.
But class-wise, all I have to take to graduate now besides violin lessons and orchestra is 2 classes of Music History.
Geez, that's it! I was so good this year, I've taken my 2 hellish theory classes, my pedagogy class and my orchestra reportoire and even some extra classes last semester that counted towards elective.
Urg. How am I going to get 9 credits (full-time status) in next year if I'm almost done?
Anywho, I got a C+ on my midterm fro classical theory and I'm so happy about it I could scream. I SLEPT through the first part of that thing because Smiles kept me up the night before. And I still passed! Woohoo!
Life is slipping by nicely, isn't it?
The next section is kinda serious so I thought I would add this really silly thing that happened to me last week...
Okay, so when I drive around, I play my radio super loud, so I can't hear my cell phone ring, and if I put it on vibrate, I can't feel it because my car shakes so much... so the solution? I put it down my shirt. Hey, there's a handy "shelf" in there and I definatley feel it, right?
Yah, I know I'm odd. Nothing new.
Well, I was waithing at a stop light the other day and I absent-mindedly had left the antena up and it was sticking out of my shirt and I was flicking it while singing Love Shack really loud....
so the mental image is me flicking an antena cominig up out of my shirt while I'm screaming "TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN ROOF!!! rusted!!!".........
I turned to see a guy in a pick-up truck just staring at me....
all I could do was turn my head back forward and laugh my head off until the light changed.
I LOVE being me, I really do.
So... erm.... I had the first situation where I had to have a talk with Smiles yesterday. Was.... rather eye-opening.
Do any of you ever feel uncomfortable when your boy/girlfriend (NOT the married ones) has close friends of the opposite sex and spends time with them regularly?
Zane is one of my best friends here and he's basically a girl, honestly. Love him to death, he's engaged to a sweetsweet girl and she lives in Colorado right now. And Zane and I have that hard theory class together, so we study together a bunch. Saturday I got done with teaching and Smiles was working late so Zane and I rented some movies. I fell asleep but Zane made me wake up and I was home by midnight. Called Smiles on the way home and we chatted for a bit.
Apparently, now that Smiles and I are an official couple, he views relationships differently than I do, and me hanging out with Zane like that was bothersome to him.
I don't know how to view this... I really like Smiles and I like where things are going, I just never saw things in a sense of propriety. I act honorably and so do my friends so it's never an issue in my mind. I have never had anyone tell me that how I act is inappropriate or it bothered them. My friends are all different sexes, colors, talents, time zones... I never really see the difference.
I want to see Smiles' point of view so I can understand him better. I do. It doesn't make either one of us right, but we do have to meet each other halfway if this is going to work.
But the big thing was how hurt Smiles felt - he thought we were in one place in the relationship and then it seemed that maybe we were in an another and it hurt him. That feels not so good. But how many times has he said somehting that made me feel 2 feet tall.. I know he doesn't mean it, but he can be very open with his opinions and I'm not one for conflict so I can end up feeling inadedquate and confused. Hollow, even. I'm used to it.. getting to know someone like this is scary and even difficult. I've learned to take it in stride.... I stick with it because it feels worth it. He feels worth it. He can treat me with such compassion that I know there's more where that came from. I want to know that part of him better.
I told him that I understood that sick feeling because I feel it too and he got really upset. He wanted to know what I hadn't told him about any of this before. I was just too scared, I guess. I like him too much and I don't want to watch him run off because I'm too sensitive or neurotic or something.
Yet again, my logic=huh??
And right now we're just slowly moving forward.
It feels like I've known him for longer... this is odd... I can't even remember what my life was like 3 months ago. It's so foreign to me. The very existance of him helps me try to be better and to grow.
hrm........... One day at a time.
SUPERCRACK says go back one day and read that letter from my mom again... it's just too fantastic! HUG PEOPLE!!!!!!!!