back to the teachin'
June 09, 2005 at 10:29 a.m.
Whew! I'd been sleeping in until like, 9 the last few days and I wanted to wake up at 8 and get my day on... and this morning I wake up in a panic at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep until after 6am. Grrr, My brain is trying to kill me.
Tuesday was Jared's birthday. The big 2-9 ! T'was so much fun - I go him a cheese making kit (a life-long dream of his) and a picture of us on our wedding day for his office and then I made a fancy dinner out on the patio of our apartment. I got the kitchen table out there, decorated the table, and made a cake with 29 sparkler candles. Now that was such a fie hazard - whoa! We almost got seriously burned just trying to light it.
I wanted it to be so nice - his face even lit up in surprise when he saw everything! Which is rare, because he's so smart he guesses just about everything else I try. So I was all happy schlappy:)
Then yesterday was my big day - my first day teaching private violin lessons agin a the local violin shop. Back to the grindstone, but 7 students already on my first day!
Still, I had so many nightmares the night before, I was terrified that I'd screw up. As I was leaving to head out to each, Jared came home for lunch with a big hug and flowers:)
He wrapped me up in his arms and I told him I couldn't figure out why I was so scared - I taught for 7 years in college - and for crying out loud, I taugh 5 orchestra classes a DAY for the last year!
"Hmmm," said Jared. "Maybe it's because it's the one thing you think you're really good at so if you mess up, that means you have no worth, eh?"
It's so funny how how he makes fun of my insecurities and knows me way too well. He just treats it as ridiculous and supports me anyway.
I did well, anyway. I survived, I was good and I am starting to kick bootay.
Except I couldn't eat yesterday because I was so nervous and woke up at 3am with nightmares about how I could have done better and couldn't get back to sleep becuase I was so hungry. I just kept thinking of how I could do beter, what each kid needs and how I can take care of it.
I finally got to sleep. I'm such a delightful little mess. But I'm happy. I'm going to record today with my beloved band for our next CD and now, I am making a living playing and teaching music on my own terms.
Not a bad life, eh?
SUPERCRACK doin' it, doin' it...