after the crummy week, some nicenice
September 12, 2004 at 6:43 p.m.
What a week. What a freaking crazy/bad week.
What a nice weekend.
Thanks so much for all the support and the ncie from everyone, so much appreciated!!! I survived somehow, but oh just barely. And the thing that saved me... odd...
I'll back up.
So last week, Jared and I had a fight or 12. Him needing some space, me needing space, neither one of us taking it until we were almost bonkers. It didn't help that my school situation just got crazy crazy busy and hard, and we both started getting lots of pressure from outside sources and such. Just a mess, but we survived.
Thursday I was hurt and upset and planning on just hiding under my covers for a while - hiding from work and him and everything, when he showed up at my apartment with roses, ready to talk things out. Wow. Someone wanting to work through things becuase they want to be with me, even when things are hard?
I'm such a lucky girl.
To lift my spirits a little, he even took me out to dinner and shoe shopping. Tell me that isn't a faboo guy, huh?? I found some nifty shoes, by-the-by:)
But Friday, I was crying again. The stress of school and one aspect of our personalities was just getting to me and I was having such a hard time figuring it all out.
See, get this: he's an introvert, I'm an extrovert. If you met him, you probably wouldn't guess that about him - but the actual definition of both is how you recharge your batteries.
An introvert needs some time alone to process through things and rejuvinate after a long day and such. It doesn't mean they aren't social - Jared's a gas and he's so great with people. But he needs that bit of time to himself to feel good.
Me? I need people to rejuvinate. It's how I've always been. Time alone isn't so necessary or even healthy for me. So when I'm going through all this tough stuff, I need people to feel better, but the only people I know here I work with, or Jared (and Joel, who has played with me a few times this week to lift my spirits:). And I didn't know what to do to feel better - he needed a little time to himself or he'd go mad and I needed people and people time. I just didn't know how to cope with all of this... I can't lean or depend on any one person for my happiness. I need to make it myself.
So I'm sitting there, thinking, when I get this blast of inspiration... probably one of the best ones I've ever had. I need to get out and be with people, right? I'm not picky, I just need a life to make me feel better, but right now I'm Ms. Orchestra Teacher of Jared's girlfriend. No ME stuff.
So, I got on the internet, found a county recreation book, and started signing myself up for some classes. Things to get me out of my comfort zone, something that involves just me doing something to expand myself,a nd be around people to do it. Tomorrow is my first cooking class, I'm also going to learn how to belly dance, knit, do yoga and make potpourri in the next few months.
When will I ever get to take time to do things like this again?? I'm so excited, this is the perfect solution to helping me be happy here. Even if Jared wasn't in the picture, this is so the right thing for me.
Isn't that cool how I came up with that??
Aaaahhhhh. I'm happy, he's happy, we're feeling strong and great and the world is a nice place today.
Heh, the thing is, I completely dropped every big thing I had to do this weekend because I just snapped. I have MASSIVE bits of work to do, and I didn't and I don't care (I might tomorrow morning, but whatever:). I took time for me - I took myself shopping and cleaning and me-ing and I feel faboo.
Of course, yes, tomorrow I'll be going bonkers, but right now I'm okay and calm. And it's been a whole week since I felt this good, so I'm going to soak in it for a while.
aahhhhhhh.............
So the orchestra started marching practice for the parade we do every year. 200 string players - that includes violins, violas, cellos strapping their instruments onto themselves with belts, basses playing while rolling their instruments on golf wheelie carts - all playing fiddle tunes, marching down Main Street.
Man, it doesn't get funnier. If you are in the area, don't hesitate to come by and laugh your butt off - it's so funny!!!
So yeah. That's the plus side of the job I guess:)
So MatMunch called and he's leaving Korea for 3 years in Hawaii. Still in the army, but Hawaii???? I am SOOOOOO going to visit him. Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots. I think he'll make it here in time to chaperone Prom with me though, hopefully:) Jared is going to chaperone Homecoming with me in a few weeks, woohoo!!!
And in just over a month, I'm turning (ulp!) a quarter of a century old. I don't know what or how to celebrate it because good golly I don't want to BE 25. At all. I'm adamant about it.
I mentioned that to Jared earlier today and he kissed me on the cheek and predicted 25 would be the best year ever. Gag I'm cheesy today... but I like that idea)
So, I'm off. I gotta wind down and get ready for this crazy week ahead. Oooo, my internet finally works again at my apartment! It was like, 3 weeks that it was down, dagnabit. So I'm back among the living.
SUPERCRACK is here.... ag, I'm glad y'all are here too:)