goodbye to a friend
February 14, 2006 at 2:41 p.m.
I don't have a lot of time, it being the day of love and all, but I do want to make a quick entry. Something really interesting happened yesterday. Beautiful, even.
I watched someone die.
That sentence in itself is odd to say, or to hear. But I did. And it wasn't what I thought it would be at all.
A few months ago, I wrote about an interesting funeral I played at, where the man who had passed was a fiddle player in his young days so I was asked to play fiddle music - including Dixie, to my amuesment, but it was in South Georgia and they were sooo gung ho about it:)
The daughter of the man and I have become very good friends. Her name is Julie, she's middle-aged, single, and has decided to learn to play violin like her dad and she practices alll the time, and says she has the best teacher ever (that's me:). She has a home and has taken very good care of her parents there for the last few years. When her father passed, she concentrated on taking really good care of her mom.
They had us over for Thanksgiving this year, and we'd stop by all the time to crash their pad. They were working hard on educating our palettes to respect southern cooking:)
Last week her mom was diagnosed with cancer, and faded quickly. She was going to fight it, but Julie told her that she was okay if her mom was ready to go, and she didn't have to go through any more pain on her account. She was so sweet and loving, holding her hand to the very end, giving her mom the permission to leave this life when she was ready.
Yesterday I brought my violin to the hospice and played some of her favorite songs. She was already in a coma but it cheered Julie up to hear the songs. When it was her time to go, she quietly stopped breathing and left.
I hadn't cried until that point, but I needed to a little. I'm going to miss her and her bright smile. But Julie knew her mom wanted to get back with her husband, and she didn't want to go through any more pain, and she didn't cry. She just smiled and said "I'll be seeing you." She had to comfort me!
It was and amazing thing to witness. Our religion believes that we will be with the people we love again, and it was incredible how strong Julie's faith is. When the nursing staff came in, they asked Julie if she wanted some time alone with her mom, and she said no - she'd let her mom say goodbye and she'd said goodbye before her mom slipped into the coma, so she was fine. She started with all the funeral arrangements like a trooper.
I hope to be as strong as Julie someday.
I know I'm going to see Marilyn again - part of me wants to be selfish and wishes she was back here with me, but I know she is where she needs to be and doing what she needs to do.
I watched life happen. What a blessing.