baby. love. cool.
February 08, 2007 at 7:29 p.m.
Poor Solei, it�s been a rough day, what with her being dragged all over down as I had a doctor�s appointment, then shopping and errands with Betiane. She ate and slept, but not the usual needed amount. She�s passed out in my arms, and it took me about 20 minutes to finally put her down next to me so she could sleep better.
Sometimes, I just can�t let her go. When she�s awake, she wiggles and squirms, but when she�s asleep I can hold her and breathe her in as much as I want, even though it�s never enough. It aches, but at least I know I love her.
The best love stories are the real ones, right? Well, I�ve got one to top �em all for you. My friend Antonio told me about his grandparents a few weeks ago, and it just made my soul go weak.
His grandfather ended up being orphaned as a young boy, so he was taken in by another family to raise him. He was 10 or 11 when the woman who cared for him gave birth to a baby girl � he was in the next room as she was born, and was incredibly excited to meet her. They grew up together, and fell in love. Her father finally consented for them to be married when she was 21 � he was in his 30s, always in love with her. They were married for over 70 years - he passed away last year in his 90s, and she misses him terribly. She�d known him from the day she was born and spent her entire life being loved by him.
Is anyone else needing to hug someone?? So sweet it hurts�.
And in the Of Course This Happens To Me file, the therapist I�ve been seeing is incredible. Yes, I finally find a really good doctor who isn�t a pompous windbag who in incredibly insightful and helpful JUST before I leave the freaking country. Well, it�s all good, I�m really glad I�m getting help, at least right now when it�s the toughest (I hope!).
He gave me homework last time, to make dinner. The logic being that since I found myself unable to do ANYthing but worry about Solei, I should try and see if I could do that one thing in the day as well. Baby steps, but I felt competent for the first time in a long time � I did it all week! I don�t need to make dinner, Jared has been doing it for the last few months and he�s a great cook. But I needed to know I could take care of Solei PLUS do something else.
Today, he told me that I need to add to my list getting dressed every day. No, I�m not nude all day long, but after I take my mad-dash shower in the morning (Jared takes her while he reads his scriptures) I only have enough time to throw my wet hair in a clip and put my jammies or some other comfortable alternative on before I�m back on mom-duty.
And I have to change clothes several times through the day � so I don�t feel the need to put on something nice if I�m just going to take it off in an hour. The hole in this argument is that not only do I have a washer/dryer to clean however many clothes I change, but Belle even does the laundry for me. Yep, lazy son o� a gun.
It�s going to be hard, my hair grew crazy long during the last few months of pregnancy, and it�s so long now I haven�t gotten it completely dry with the hair dryer in weeks. It takes more than 10 minutes, and that�s when my attention span calls it quits. But, I have to try it. I don�t want people back home to think I�ve let myself go. Even though I probably have.
One thing is for certain though � today I decided I would be infinitely cooler if I got black Converses.
Yes, that train of thought got hijacked. The doctor is pretty sure I have some form of ADD. Man, that would explain so freaking much. Mom, there�s a WHOLE lot of stuff I�ve been blaming on you that we could throw over on that. It�s like an early Mother�s Day present!!
I have been going retarded over the Martha Stewart �it�s a good thing� stuff on her site. I suddenly MUST make a girl�s catch-all. NOW, or sandwich sushi. I am NOT turning into this kind of person, am I???
I need those black Converses.
With striped socks maybe? I�d feel so cool. And yet somehow something deep down wonders if it screams I�m trying to look 7. Psh. Of course I am. 7 year olds are awesome.
SUPERCRACK is awesome. Somehow.