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500 words or less

January 17, 2002 at 10:58 p.m.

I could go on and on on this one....

Today in my english class, the teacher asked us to write 500 words on class on WHY WE ARE HERE. What brought us to the point where we were sitting in the University of North Texas in an english class on personal essays and memoirs.

Only 500 words???

I mean, where to begin?? I spent a whole paragraph describing the fact that I have no idea where the heck I am. Ask me a big question - any of 'em - and I'd be able to give you DETAILS on birth death, where we have been and where we are going after we die. I could draw friggin diagrams!!

But in my personal life - I think it's all a train wreck. No - that's not true. My life is very purposeful and is led in a marvelous way. But heck if I understand it.

I went on about jazz violin taking me out of depression in high school when I discovered something I could do well, and how it brought me to North Texas, but man....

there's a purpose, I know it. I just have no clue to what it is.

Was I supposed to meet the people I've met here? Is that why I'm here? I have met some wonderful people, but twice I've had best friends turn on me here. My track record in Colorado wasn't stellar, but still....

I've been cheated on lied to and slighted in this town.

What could I do here that I couldn't have done in a far more tropical climate??

)(*&^%&$^#$^$*%^&*&^&^*&

Do you ever feel like grocery shopping alone is unnatural?

Or coming home to an empty apartment and running through the halls yelling at invisible things is an activity that should be shared with other people?

I think I was lonely today. Busy, and I had lots of nice things to do, like the gym and playing violin at the rest home and teaching my wonderful student Somak and class and shopping...

But I can't get through on my parents phone and I just want to tell someone about my day. Oh, I've chatted plenty today, but it's different when it's a loved one on the other end of the phone to tell all your tales to.

maybe I should move to Colorado for my masters?

aw heck, I'll never make up my mind.

SUPERCRACK is oh-so long winded today....

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wife. mother. musician. bloggerist for 7 years. holding on for dear life.

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