picking it up
January 25, 2003 at 8:35 a.m.
Okay, my pity party is over.
SOrry for the inconvenience. Thanks for listening. You make it hard to really relish a pity party - thanks for the guestbook bombing:)
I'm loved. Someday I'll be able to feel it because I'll live in the same zip code as some of the people I care about. But for now, I'm on my own, as much as it irks me. And my job is to learn to love myself. And stop getting hurt. If that means to close myself off, I'll have to give it a try.
FUnny thing though, I really feel closed since I've moved here. People I talk to are only interested in my extrernal parts... the weather... how good I play the violin compared to them... oh, and if I'm single. I've learned to keep me inside. That blank stare I get when I say something pure Reva is too disturbing.
I went to a massive party last night. - this giant shin-dig my friend was DJ-ing, a field in the middle of east Arimazona. Wierd.
I knew one person there, besides the gaggle of girls I showed up with (roomates and friend sof romates and friends of... you get the idea)... my friend John. One of the first people I met here, and still one of the few genuine people I know. There wasn't much going on when we got there but we got the place joggy.
All the girls were dressed so adorable as usual, with me in my gigantic icky khaki pants and some dumb "princess" t-shirt... I started eout in vinyl but by the time I left the house I was wearing part of the pajamas I'd been wearing 5 minutes before - you know, I don't know how that happened either...
I was wearing my red fuzzy faux-fur zebra coat... that's as interesting as I got
except for my underwear I wore my Harley Davidson boxers for some odd reason...
yes, I did show them off.
Am I turning into some freakish type of exhibitionist??
Geez, anywho, I danced the night away. I didn't even get lonely standing in the throng of people... I just danced and met groovy people. I may not be the fanciest dancer but I do it, dagnabit. All these neat buys were doing break dancing, while I was doing my patented butt-jiggle. It's partly from Greg's keys-in-my-back-pocket dance that we used to do, and partly from my failed attempts over the years to do that back-up dance from WIll Smith's "gettin' Juggy With It" video. Doesn't ever seem to work:)
Good for me.
It helped because I just got my hair chopped off yesterday... keeps getting shorter. I went to this teaching college and got it cut for super cheap. I even like the hair cut. I needed a change.
It's short in the back - spiky if I want it and such.... and just for you folks, I have made a dramatic recreation of what I looked like last night:
dang I'm talented...
Anywho, I love it... I love having short har. It's so versatile and a change can do me good.
I've also finally learned how to apply eye-liner. YESSSSS!!!!!
I must run to go teach violin lessons soon. TOnight I'm going to a sneak-preview of that new "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" with my roomates. I don't think I really need to be watching a chick flick for my overall emotional good, but it's better than sitting home alone. And Reva is all about getting a life. Aw yeah,
SUPERCRACK willll be jiggy one day.