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Thanks giving

November 29, 2003 at 4:05 p.m.

So every year, my family has this tradition, based off the first Thanksgiving dinner that the Pilgrims shared with the Native Americans. By each plate rests 3 kernels of corn, and each person at the table names three things they are thankful for that year.

This year, around the table, were my 2 older brothers and their wives, my kid brother Dallin, my parents, Hiro, and our friend Lilia from the Ukraine who is now studying at BYU.

I hadn't put very much thought into my kernels this year, and I was still struggling with what I was thankful for when it came to my turn. All I oculd think of was wow.... what a year...

And I cried, thinking about all I've lived though. I mean, I can't believe I've actually survived and stuck to my guns while my life has been dragged through the wringer. I can't believe I'm still here, trying to live out my dreams while it would have been so easy to give up so many times this year. Honestly, it would have been so easy. It's either a testament to my strength or my thick-headedness.

So, my three kernels this year were...

1. Australia and Chile. By last spring, I had lost my scholarship, the use of my left arm, had two boys break my heart in quick sucession, and I was fighting a battle with anorexia. And my parents knew the best way to nurse me back to health was to take me with them and give me the greatest summer a gril could ask for, full of adventures and parental care. When things get really hard, I rememeber how amazing it was, and it gives me strength again.

2. My health. Now that I know how important it is, I'm learning not to take even the smallest movements for granted.

3. My masters. I'm thankful that I was given the opportunity to get one, and I'm thankful it's ALMOST DONE.

I don't know if I was cut out to live a life like this. I don't know if I really was supposed to travel the road I've chosen and I mean that. But things have happened along the way to somehow move me to chose a life that is more difficult than I could have taken.

It amazes my family... they never thought I'd do any of this. And it scares me, because I never pictured anything like my life when I was growing up....

But I've survived so far. I think I'll keep trying.

$&^%&%^*&^(*%*%^$%$##!@%#@%$#%^$&*%$*&$*%$*&%^*&%&

This year I'm thankful for my family.

they're crazy.... but they are me.

&^%&^%*$%&^#%&@^%#@^$#@$%#!%$@%$#^#$&$#&^$&^$&^$^%#%$

So my Thanksgiving was made up of family and turkey and Hiro's sushi and teaching Lilia how to ski and swing dancing at the Merc with my brothers AND my mom and celebrating mom's birthday and relaxing.

I don't think about going back, but I know it's going to be tomorrow.

I keep suriving. Look out Arimazona.

SUPERCRACK is soaking up as much love as she can before she has to live without for a few more weeks... YAY CHRISTMAS!!!

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wife. mother. musician. bloggerist for 7 years. holding on for dear life.

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