trying to be better
January 31, 2005 at 5:51 a.m.
Whew!
For those of you not in GA htis weekend, helloooo ice storms! Good gravy I thought I was goona freeze and die somewhere on the roads, but nope, by dear hubby drove like a champ when no one else was willing to hit the roads. Not us! We gots the shopping done and a few good deeds along the way. Nothing that actually was needed, but whatever, we did it because we are just awesome.
At church yesterday the lesson in joint mens/womens was on marriage. Usually I don't like those lessons because I'm usually in a meeting with all single people who are philosophizing on the idea of it, but yesterday was our first time as a married couple in a ward with lots of grown ups, lotsa married ones. So they had good advice. Heck, I took notes.
I still can't believe I'm married. I wonder maybe if I'm a disgrace to everything that was Reva, the staunchly, rock star hopeful girl that survived relationships, not enjoyed them, and every time (you can look back in the archives, folks) swore to never fall again. Now I don't know what I'm going to do anymore.
And yet here I am, in love with someone who wants to be with me for eternity and who married me. Who wakes up at 5:20 in the morning just to have prayers with me.
I don't know if I'm doing any of this right. Sometimes I drive him crazy and I don't know how. I just don't know how to be a wife yet. I don't know how to be the helpmate for Jared, especially. He's so wonderful and no matter what, always finds a way to lift my spirits. He's so independent I don't know how to lift his.
Well, that's why we have forever, I guess. I can figure it out eventually. I'm just impatient and I wish I could help now.
Okay, another long day at school. Dagnabit, some days I really grow to dislike teenagers. And other grown ups. And mostly teenage cellists. Phew...... I can do it. Today at least. Just shooting for today. Except I feel really really nauseous. I think I had too much for dinner. But who doesn't like au gratin potates, I ask you??
MRS. SUPERCRACK is trying.....