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mushy procrastination

April 29, 2002 at 9:36 p.m.

ooo, you know those spring nights where it's warm and it's raining and it's so light you can run around barefoot?

ahhhh... I took myself out to get Suko Thai for dinner and I spent so much time just spinning in the rain in the parking lot. It's so beautiful I can't believe it. The storm clouds are stunning....

i so love my life.

I'm looking at the pictures of Annie all over my wall of that night she put the tripod up in my living room and chased me aorund the living room with a camera.

I'm looking at the picture of Urmi and I at Karaoke on my birthday... the other people with me slighted her, but she was there to love and celebrate regardless. And she has taught me so much because of that.

I'm looking at the mirror on my wall that's the long kind, put up sideways, with notes written in lip-stick on it.. with a short-hand list of the people that went to the group date I had planned... my first and what I thought would be my only date with the dreamy Mr. Crabtree.

I got home from teaching today and had a hour before I had to run off to rehearse with my accompanists for the last time before my hearing TOMORROW, when the phone rang.

Golly, I'd spent almost 2 hours on the phone with him earlier today, but it was him, asking if he could just stop by and see me for a minute. Doesn't he ever get tired of me?? Apparently not... he came in and I just started crying. My hearing is tomorrow, I'm already missing Urmi and my life here and I'm so scared about tomorrow. Just Tuesday.

He just held me and made me laugh and told me I was still beautiful even when I cried. I won't get spoiled by this because I know how to survive on my own... but it's such an amazing blessing that I don't have to go through this short period of my life on my own.

Is it obvious that I'm all sentimental and mushy over these things in a desperate attempt to ignore the fact that my recital hearing is less than 24 hours away??

SUPERCRACK is soooo not transparent:)

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wife. mother. musician. bloggerist for 7 years. holding on for dear life.

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