many diverse thoughts
February 11, 2003 at 10:40 p.m.
You know you REALLY need to do laundry when you have to wear vinyl pants to school.
THe only clothes I have that are still clean are my partying clothes. And seeing as I'm not doing that at ALLL lately because I'm too busy being reponsible..
I had to go to my violin lesson today in a cut up black t with black vinyl plants and my red Doc Martens (beause what other shoe goes with a get-up like that??) Oh, and my red zebra faux fur jacket...
I either looked really hott today, or like a clown.
aw heck, we all know only I (and maybe my mom) can pull off an outfit like that.:)
Pete writes the best music I know. I wish I had an ounce of his talent. I really do. So when he writes a song for you, it's not only moving, it's INCREDIBLE.
This weeken I got to sit there and just bawl as Pete played the song that he wrote for me when I left Texas last spring...
You can't hear the incredible mucic, but here's the words he wrote for me...
When you leave again this time
Please know that you're still in my mind
Knowing what is true is like
I owe it all to you
You'll miss the day I turn twenty-two
All I ask of you is some wishful thoughts
Summer isn't too far away
I'll catch a plane to California
Believe in every word you've said before
I would do anything for you to stay here
Tomorrow you'll be gone
Can you see me in the rearview mirror
Waving arms goodbye is not an easy thing to say
Especially when it comes to saying to
A special one like you; it's not too late
To be best friends 'til the end of our days
Believe in every word you've said before
I would do anything for you to stay here
Will you miss me as much as I will you
Can you tell me that?
Wake up calls, don't need them no more
The breakfast table is empty again
On Saturdays our TV show is on again
I hope you're watching it too
If only you knew how much this hurts
When they ask of you,
"Where's the girl in the red dress? --
She was here just the other day!"
And I'll say,"She has gone away --
She's finally happy again just like the way
She was meant to be."
She's happier than before
Hey, Reva, don't you forget me
I'll see you again
Believe in every word you've said before
I would do anything for you to stay here
The end always makes me cry. Am I happy like I'm meant to be? And am I still the girl in the red dress?
SOmeone still liks so. And all I need is to be believed in.
huh. Dang it.
I had a concert last night and I wanted to wear my favorite velvet top... but I couldn't, because it looked weird.
Why? Arg. Life is so stressful right now, I need to control something. I need an outlet - or something else to hurt for a while. And the one thing I CAN control - is the one thing that makes my favorite black top look weird.
Darn it.
I like being able to control the amount of food I put in me - and the less I eat right now, the better I feel because I don't feel the emptiness that's a result from him being out of my life. I only feel empty because I don't have a lot of food in me right now.
But darn it, I'm shrinking too much. My clothes are starting to fit weird and I don't want to see my boobs disappear again. I like them.
This is an interesting thought that I came up with the other day while I was watching Danielle get dressed for church...
SO many people try to make me feel uncomfortable about my height, I think I try and compensate by being unusually thin for my height.
I mentioned this to Danielle and all she said was "I think we all knew that." HUh? It drives me nuts when other people know stuff about me I don't.
I just hate it when people refer to me as a "big girl." They say it like it's a bad thing.
Fine. I'll show everyone. I just wish I didn't have to say good bye to my chest. . .
SUPERCRACK needs help!!!