more better
March 07, 2003 at 9:38 a.m.
I'm going to attempt to write at least part of this entry witt both hands because I really feel like myleft hand feels stronger.
oops. I guess not. It's just the right one from now on...
i'm learning a lot of lessons from this experience. A long time ago I learned I had to control my emotions because they have a deep power that is difficult to maintain.
check.
what i didn't realize was that i also can't abuse my body or it will shut down like this. I didn't realize i was doing any of this. I don't like having food in my stomach. it feels foreign.
But I have to take care of myself because I can't allow my arms to break down like this. I have to play violin again. They said maybe I can start playing Tuesday, but my teacher wants me to wait. grrrr.
I have no hobbies tht don't involve my hands. I'm getting bored.
I also have learned that I need a life and I can't hide behind my carreer or school. Dating Smiles is so odd to me - he stepped in at this perfect little window and it's so much fun. But I know had I been healthy I probably wouldn't have made time for him.
But tonight is scary... he invited me to the wedding reception of his old roomate. I met the guy maybe 4 times... and a wedding reception date is always weird. I know that I have big commitment issues, but I can also tell Smile's are even bigger than mine or anyone who I've ever dated and that's just scary.
and soooooooooo yesterday I went to the therapist and they told me I have an eating thing (i just don't like saying the word) and it needs help. Okay. but then they tried to tell me I'm depressed. Which I completely disagree with.
I gotta study so I must run.. but just want to letcha know I'm going splendid and I am smitten. Smitten like a kitten over a boy. But that's all.
SUPERCRACK is back on track, jack