totally mushy
July 18, 2005 at 1:59 p.m.
I think so many times over the weekend of interesting things to write, but come Monday morning I am so dull.
One week until we *hopefully* close on our house. I've gone mad packing and trying to handle the gravity of the situation, and reading Harry Potter. ooooh, yeah.
Saturday morning I woke up bright and early - well, earlier than Jared, and I decided to surprise him with breakfast. I made pancakes and tried to fry 'em up, but ended up burning them all. All of them, seriously. It was a disaster. Jared was just amused but I felt so bad I told him he could pick wherever he wanted to go for breakfast - and he chose..... WAFFLE HOUSE. I'd oly been there once, but it was enough. It freaked me out - too southern somehow, and I couldn't see myself eathing there, but Jared could. That makes 2 times, I guess:)
We went there - but not after we headed to Costco for the new Harry Potter - heh - guess who picked it up for only 16 bucks??? No lines, I'm a genius. I was so excited I hopped all over the store. It was funny how he seemed surprised that I'm this immature. The relationship just gets deeper;) And it was enought to distract me from the fact that I spent the next half hour at Waffle House. I even let Jared order for me. Why? I'm wild and impetuous!
We spent the rest of the day at his parents house where he helped his dad put up siding on the addition he's building on their house. I huddled in the corner reading my book all day, it was looovely! And then...
We went to go see Weezer in Altanta. They did a huge free show in downtown and since Jared's a fan, we made the trek. The street was PACKED and it rained and I stood out there like a champ. Okay, I did about 2 hours standing in tight quarters with the masses and experienced crowd surfing for the first time. Oh no, I didn't try it, I got kicked in the head by several people who did try it, though.
We stood there in the rain and crowd, his arms around me, the band in front of us, him being my protector every time a body or object came flying by us (he got whacked in the head with a beer bottle)... it was so hot and there was no breeze, but when I pulled my hair up to lessen the no-breezeness, Jared would blow cool air on my neck.
I felt so old to be out there with all the young drunk kids - but I felt young and a new kind of happiness that I've never felt as a young person. I've never felt so secure - so loved, so free to be myself.
I'm sure it's hard to swallow for everyone - I just haven't felt this way before in my whole life. I don't know how I got so lucky. He's the best teacher I've ever had - he guides and supports me in all my me-ness.
Gah, I know, right? No one makes me laugh more, no one makes me feel safer or special, and at the same time, he doesn't put up with my regular crack.
He just came home for lunch and told me his best friend Mike had a coworker call up today to say he'd found his wife dead - she'd hung herself. Mike didn't know what to say, and Jared seemed shaken. What a thing to realize... I'm married forever to my favorite person in the whole world, and I couldn't imagine not getting to live with him for the rest of my life. I get protective sometimes - I get afraid that something may happen to take him physically way from me - I won't let him get a motorcyle becuase of it. He keeps trying to wear me down though;)
I asked him yesterday why he married me - and after I got through the parts about how he was in love with me - he answered with -
"I saw your flaws and I knew they weren't insurmountable. Like your insecurities - you can get over those. And you have, right?"
He's right. His support and example have helped me get over a lot of things I thought I'd carry with me forever. I like being me. We're not the same people who exchanged vows 6 months ago, but dang if we don't just get better and better at this marriage thing:)
SUPERCRACK promises at some poit she'll get back to reality. But she's just too busy being in love right now to come down:)