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how women cope

March 21, 2004 at 9:30 p.m.

The Sunday night at the end of Spring Break... it's a scary thing. Realizing what I have to get done tomorrow - the things that are required of me reaaallllyyy soon.

And right now I'm seriously contemplating running across the country for a job. I'm giving up on ever finding anyone who will love me and I'm just going to go ahead and further this career thing on my own.

Whew! that's heavy stuff to open with! But that's just the way today was.

24 years old, I was sitting on the floor in the chapel during church writing in my journal because I just couldn't handle things any more as an adult... ARG!!!!

&^%*&^$*^$*&$*&*$*&$*&$*&%*&^$*&^%*&%*&^%

Okay - fast forward to a few minutes ago....

this is great....

So it's just one of those days... I called up my roomate Jamie's ex who just dropped out of her life and called him an "@$$ monkey" and last night I went out with the nice guy and his friends and they were really really rude to me for no reason - he apologized later, but good gravy.. oh, and then we started listing off awful dating stories and all the worst ones were mine!

I mean, having my car stolen over night by a blind date - that was ME, having a guy tell you he wants to get married because he's tired of being a virgin - again, ME - a boyfriend who planned a vacation for himself the weekend of her masters recital - yay for Reva! - a guy who takes me on a blind date over to his friend's house and keeps me there until 2 am without really including me in any conversation - WOW!!!! ALL ME!! In the last 4 months!!

I have NO LUCK! I'm just cursed and I should cut my losses because I am just not destined to ever find a sane, decent guy - it's just not possible! I mean, there's no shortage of crazies and insensitive dudes, but the nice thing? Just not in the cards for me!

So it's just been that kind of day man, I just can't handle this! It's so pathetic it's funny!! And my roomate Jamie and I were laying on the counters of the kitchen, laughing our butts off at our mad misfortune, when I decided to try some therapy.

I grabbed these cool gel markers that were laying next to me on the counter, pulled up my tank top and wrote MARRY ME!! on my tummy and gave myself a wedding ring with a yellow and red marker because heavens knows it's the closest I'll ever get:)

Next thing I know, she wrote GO AWAY on her stomach and gave herself a ring on her middle finger - she even wrote MINE on her boob!

At present - I have THIS SPACE AVAILABLE! on my side, my phone number on the other side, and specific places marked off as SUGAR - plus WE'RE ALL 1 BAD DATE AWAY FROM BECOMING LESBIANS!!! down my arm and HELP!!! across my chest.

We laughed like crazy and took pictures with Jamie flipping off the camera... somehow, I feel a little better:)

I was chatting with an old college friend today who got married last year who started listing all of my wonderful qualities and why I should just hold out for that perfect man that is just perfect for me - how many of you just LOOOOVE converations like that?? I didn't stuff her phone into her throat like I should have, but I did kindly tell her to stop. Ug, I just hate that.

Anywho, I'm going away now. I'm nuts, I'm beautiful, I'm one heck of a catch, apparently, so yum and y'all have a nice day, m'kay?

SUPERCRACK is just barely breathin', mmmmhmmmmm

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wife. mother. musician. bloggerist for 7 years. holding on for dear life.

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