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baaaad partay

July 03, 2002 at 10:37 p.m.

ug. I am so disappointed.

I've allowed myself to be locked in this house for days - not venturing out to do anything fun because this home remodeling has taken quite a toll on the family. Mom is going nuts, Quinn is useless as always, Dad has no clue, and so I end up being the lone person helping mom chisel and paint and putty and the like.

But tonight I had an invitation for a dinner party and I was going out dagnabit. I was excited, ohyesohyes.

o-no-o-no.

There were 3 girls, 3 boys, and the girls were all my age - the 22 range. The boys had all graduated highschool in 1985. Yeeeah...

One of the guys had been Mr. Universe a few times and had even been a male stripper in college. I was sure he was gay, but I was told otherwise. hmmmmm Another couldn't stop talking about how his ex-girlfriend had stabbed him with a pen in a region I dare not speak of.

And the third boy.... I wish I could explain why I disliked him so. But the description escapes me.. he was a dead-ringer for my evilevil ex, the Roach. Looked like him, acted like him, was divorced, the works. Played the same mind-games... I wish I could describe them, I do... it's like people like that can't use their looks to get women, so they've learned to twist their words and the situation to bring the focal point discretely to their superiority.

ech, does that make sense? But I caught what he was doing quickly because I am now oh so learned in the ways of manipulative men, and I ignored him.

The topics of conversation were filthy and crude. And we sat at a table to eat. My dinner parties are nothing like that! I mingle, I mix, I have music and excitement! This was akward - I wished my parents were there, seriously.

I need good clean fun. I can't stand "the world." It makes me so sad and uncomfortable. There is no beauty there. There is beauty in joy, in nature, in kindness, in friendship. Not that nasty apartment.

I drove home despondent. My one night out - and I get this situation. 3 pariah men and 2 useless females. And me, being asked awful questions and being told dirty stories. *shivers* I need a hug.

I tried calling Loren on the few remaining minues on my phone but instead I got his dad. No help. I miss him. He was a nice boyfriend, and is a really nice friend. I miss my friends. I miss my life.

&*)(&)(&%^&*(^&*%&^%#%$#%*&&*())((&%^%#

Tomorrow is the 4th of July!!! I haven't celebrated it in sooo long! Last year I was in Slovakia, the year before that I was at a jazz thing in Louisville Kentucky, the year before that I was driving through the eastern USA with the 'rents on a family history excursion for over a month and now this year.... I'm home:)

I love America. I love celebrating this groovygroovy day. No fireworks for us unfortunately because of all the fire hazards, but c'est la vie. At least we're bbq-ing some dead animals at the neighbors. That should be nice;)

I suggest everyone go read this wonderful bit of patriotism that eden posted today - a marvelous bit by Ronald Reagan.

Sometimes I think his alzheimers was a gift from you-know-who so he wouldn't have to see how awful things have become in the world. Protected from the horrors of 9-11 and such. *shudders*

SUPERCRACK says happy birthday America!!!!!

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wife. mother. musician. bloggerist for 7 years. holding on for dear life.

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