the whole ball of wax
September 27, 2001 at 12:09 a.m.
I think the big boys at the gym are laughing at me behind my spandex-ed behind.
Because of my wimpy girl arms. Stuggling with the smallest 5 lbs. weights...
I try o-so-hard. I don't want to look gross like them with big bumps everywhere... I just want to be stronger so I can be a better violinist. Better because then I can kick the butts of the other violinists and they'll be too scared to compete with me and let me win everyithing.
Playing dirty. It's what I'm good at.
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Rewind back to 2 years ago. Three boys broke my heart that year. 2 boyfriends, one friend.
No way I can talk to the boyfriends again. And I lost a few friends in the process. But I had to, to maintain my tenuous grasp on reality.
I'm tired of having to burn bridges for my mental health.
So when the friend called up a few months ago and apologized, I was flabbergasted. That's what I've always dreamed of - someone who recogizes they treated me shabbily and says they are sorry.
I'm going to see him on Friday. I'm a little shaken...
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My first letter from Dallin! He's having a marvelous time in Utah at the Missionary Training Center - he even drew mew a picture! I miss him so much... 2 years without my little brother at Christmas..... If anyone wants to write him, the address is:
Elder Kuzmich
MTC Mailbox 227
CHI-SATS 1029
2005 N 900 E
Provo, UT 84604
Tell him Reva sentcha...:)
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And one final thought...
Today after a busybusy freaking out day I got home at 8 and without missing a beat, got in the kitchen, nuked my TV dinner, cooked up some corn, got my frosy water to drink, plopped in front of the TV with a feeling of superiority.
In a few years, I might have a husband and a family to take care of. At least I know that the time I got to spend by myself was fully appreciated.
How could I ever give up this life??
SUPERCRACK is feeling self-sufficient.. whatababe:)