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need a mommy

February 19, 2008 at 3:19 p.m.

Oh, the glorious weekend with my mommy has passed. I am alone. Mommy-less.

All by my seeeellllfffff....

Jared says I get weird when she's here. I say I get ME when she's here. I know she has 3 other children, but being the only girl and being incredibly emotionally needy, I think she's got a special place in her heart for moi. It's a good feeling:) I'm not her best kid, and I sure was the most expensive, but I know I'm loved, dagnabit.

Right after I took her to the airport, I met one of my students and her mom for the CIRCUS. Yep, I took my 16 month old to the circus. Her initial reaction to the whole thing was... distrust...

And by the way, that's the GOOD shot of her with the clown. The other ones had her looking peeved. The lights, the noise all confused her, but I have to say, I enjoyed it so much because it meant I could snuggle her for 3 hours straight. If only church could have wild animals and eardrum-shattering music.

Afterwards, we all went to lunch in the massive food court at the CNN center. Sounds innocent enough, but I was TERRIFIED.

I mean, my student and her friend with her are both 5 and 6, they can sit and eat all nice and genteel-like. My child .... well, can't. And this mom I was with - she's AWESOME. She homeschools her kid - who speaks Latin, Spanish and is learning Mandarin, plus she's a really good little violin player. At 5. She feeds her organic food and even though she only has one child, she always has about 4 with her. I'm TOTALLY intimidated.

I tried to sit with Solei and eat with her, but every time I'd offer her some food, she'd yell "NO!" and continued to hit my lemonade with her spoon. Finally, the mom offered to to take Solei and she got her to sit still, while she fed her raisins and granola.

Then, she wanted to run ALL OVER. Who lets a 1 year old loose in a food court? And every time I tried to get to her hold my hand, she went limp and angry.

Then Capable Mom grabbed her hand and got her to do laps with her around the court.

I teared up watching her march along with all of them - she looks like an actual kid, not my baby. Also, I wasn't the one who got her to eat, or to walk holding someone's hand.

I'm grateful to have so many people in my life who teach me how to be a mom.

Still wish I wasn't so blasted clueless.

SUPERCRACK. Poster child for how-to-mommy books.


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wife. mother. musician. bloggerist for 7 years. holding on for dear life.

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mooooooooove - April 09, 2008
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