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bad.

December 12, 2007 at 3:20 a.m.

I don't know how to start this, so I'm coming right out and saying it.

My brother Quinn and his wife were in a car accident Monday night. Megan didn't survive. Quinn in injured and is making roceovery as best he can right now. Their little boy was with his grandparents and he's safe.

I'm flying to Colorado in a few hours to try and help with family things for the next while. I've spent the whole day crying and I'm hoping I can be strong for my mom so she can be strong for Quinn.

I've dealt with death before, and I know this ache. I know Megan and Quinn will be together again. But it hurst so much more now, being a mother... she was the most incredible mother for her son's first 2 years and the most wonderful wife we could have ever imagined for Quinn. I ache for us left behind. I ache as a sister for my brother. I ache as a mother for my nephew. I ache for my mother - who knelt down and thanked God for Megan so many times in the last few years. I don't know if she can recover from this blow, her voice is so small. I don't know what to do, and I don't want to be a burden on my family when I get there. I woke up at 1:30 and here I am at 3:30... I prayed for sleep, but it won't come.

On their wedding day. Megan pulled me aside and hugged me and told me she was so excited to have a new sister... it was the most wonderful experience, coming from a family of boys. She was incredible... I don't know how else to put it. I know it's the bargaining in me here, but I wish I could trade places with her. My brother loves her so much. She loves them so much. They need her. If you knew her, you'd understand I'm really not being self-depreciating here. Quinn has had such a rough life, and being loved by her has been the most wonderful miracle to witness. If anyone in this life needed no-holds-barred love, it's him.

I have to go. I have to pull myself together. With each tear I swear it will be my last, but I can't stop.

Go hug your little ones, your big ones.



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wife. mother. musician. bloggerist for 7 years. holding on for dear life.

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