blarglegarglefus
January 03, 2007 at 8:53 p.m.
So I've been reading again. I know dangerous, especially when the reading involved parenting materials. What should your kid be doing at this age and what-not.
Which now, I'm neurotic again. That dang BabyWise book almost ruined my first few weeks of having Solei, and now I'm feeling all crazed again.
She's 2 and a half months old, she sleeps through the night, because I feed her formula at night (it stones babies) and we cuddle her on our chests until she's out and then delicately place her in the crib. It works!
But the books say I have to teach proper sleep habits, cry it out methods, teach her how to sleep right. Oh, and she's supposed to be on her tummy allll the time to get strong arms.
But every time I put her on her tummy, she cries or pukes or does both, and then before I can catch her, she falls in the puke and rolls her face in it in confusion. It's awful for her, but for some sick reason, it makes me giggle.
And those books leave NO room for giggling!! Mommy must not giggle, must develop hand-eye-algebra-sleeping coordination!!!
I gotta stop reading. Geez it makes me nauseous!!
Jared and I had a really amazing talk last night about how I am a total psychotic mess. Okay, I'm not all THAT, but it's hard to be happy when I think I'm doing everything wrong, and she's so clingy and bipolar all the time.
He feels strongly that this really can bring me joy - and I'm convinved I can't be happy (because I suck and don't deserve it). Along with some great references from scriptures, he had a really nice point from our lives. The first few months of marriage were a mess - we had so much to learn about each other, about being together and understanding where the other was coming from, that there were a lot of misunderstandings and tears shed. We stuck it out though, and in time it became apparent that my rash decision to marry this odd man I'd only known for 5 months was also the best decision I'd ever made. The last year, with pregnancy, lay-offs, being apart for 2 months, and a move to South America has made us even stronger, and dagnabit if I don't love him even more.
He's the best blessing I could have ever asked for. But if you had told me that in our 3rd month of marriage, I would have howled.
I've only known Solei for 2 and half months - and already her smiles are enough to captivate me and give me energy to keep going. She won't scream forever, she'll get older and begin to understand how to say "I'm hungry" instead of piercing my eardrums.
I have hope that he's right. Joy is around the corner, I just have to be patient. It's a happy thought worth being patient for though:)
Soooooo, there have been lots o' jobs that Jared is interested in, applying to, and all that, in all sorts of places, and I've been all torn. Don't know what I want, nosirree bob.
Well, this afternoon, I got my fiddle out to play for Solei, and even though I have some rust on my hinges, it felt great. I worked up this gypsy-version of a Vivaldi concerto that was just tasty, and I started envisioning how my old band could do something cool with it, and the feeling set in that moving back to Atlanta - just so I could play with them again, was the happy I could REALLy get into.
Then this evening Jared had interviews with a company in that vicinity, and the feelings started going bonkers.
Must keep things down, in case we need to go somewhere else.... but boy howdy I wouldn't mind that. neope.
So, one happy thought. Here's to a few more!
SUPERCRACK is scheming...