baby smiles
December 07, 2006 at 2:08 p.m.
I had another adventure today. I headed out again, this time with Solei in the Baby Bjorn-thingy (backpack, but on my chest) because it was cool enough so she wouldn�t overheat, and because I wanted bread. There�s a padaria a few blocks up a hill a few blocks away and I was just carb-crazed enough to get out of the house.
Part of me wishes I was back home in America, where I would have already have made many excursions with Solei, and I�d be old hat at this. She LOVES to go out and see the world. I don�t have a car, and the so-nice-I�m-in-your-face manner of Brasilians makes me shy from going anywhere when I can�t speak the language. Every where I go, they are in my face, wanting to talk or to help, and I just can�t understand when they talk so darn fast.
�Repetir, mais devagar, por favor,� I ask, but I probably don�t understand most of the �palavras� anyway. I really ought to bring my Portuguese dictionary around more often, but since Jared has been hounding me with my accent, I say �Eu nao entendo Portuguese muito bem� so convincingly that they think I�m being modest and I really DO speak Portuguese. I guess you could say I do, very basically, but I�d rather not. Then they talk fast and I don�t understand and since I�m so good at pretending like I understand with the smile and head nodding that I do from reflex (dang I�m such a people pleaser!!) they get all confused when I don�t answer their questions because I had no idea they were asking me anything!
So it�s just easier to hide in the house. Besides, that hill was steep!
It was SO GOOD for a few days � Solei was sleeping allllll night people!! But then yesterday she woke up at 5am. Hmmm� and today, she was up at 2am! 4am! 6am! And I can�t go back to sleep once I feed her, so after the 2am feeding, I was wide awake to hear her at 4. I was drowsy at 6, but not by much. CURSES! I thought I had this worked out!
I really love her when she sleeps all night� that�s so terrible to say! But really, there�s a lot of gratitude and joy in my eyes after a long night's sleep that helps me love her just a bit more.
Can babies be thankful? I know it�s pretty much me-me-gimme-gimme when they are toddlers, and you really have to earn a sense of gratitude in this life, but babies I think know way more than we think they know. I think they forget as they grow, but I�m pretty sure Solei knew who I was, I mean, she was fresh from heaven!
I know babies really are only aware of their physical needs, but just now Solei was crying her head off, hungry as all get out, and when I finally was ready to nurse her � she paused for a minute before latching on to look right up at me and smile her most beautiful smile. I SWEAR it was a thank-you smile.
Jared just found this picture of me as a baby � and Solei looks verra much like me. I need to take a pic from the same angle to compare, but here for your perusal is me, just under 27 years ago:
Hmm.. I think I look a ton like my brother Rhys in that picture�� (that's probably why his wife digs me so much!!) well, regardless, that�s Solei�s smile right there. She�s got daddy�s chin, but she�s got my smile. It�s like God made a most attractive me! I�m cool with that:)